there i was just wondering if all these stories are true about loneley housewifes whoes husbands are away working or playing their sill golf games,
if you want to tell me about your time alone or you can let me know where you are and i will make sure your not so loneley. xx
Faith, I have tried talking to my wife.... she is not interested in discussing anything. I worked with her for 20 yrs trying to get her to change. I am still married now because I was so naive that I thought somehow I could get my wife and I to be lovers and friends again. NOTHING worked. I told her point blank that "If there was ever a woman thrusting her man into the arms of another woman, she was it." I got about zero response. Over these years, she has developed some health problems... and she is very much a slob and I am sure cannot live on her own. Certainly no other man would have her with her. I feel that I am now stuck with her. We are both over sixty. So... I will will provide for her, see that she has a reasonably happy life, but want to find some happiness for myself, too. Besides... when you ask yourself, is it better to stay married or divorced... in my case, it is clearly better to stay married. Does that answer your question, Faith?
The Lord Jesus Christ said that if a man was about to cheat on his wife, it was better that he give her a writ of divorcement. So, if a man wants a woman who's not his wife, he has to divorce first. I think that a woman contemplating cheating on her husband would do better to divorce him first. It goes for both sexes. No hanky panky for married people with outsiders as long as they're married. Divorce first.
This is a very sad story and you are obviously talking about your own life rather than a hypothetical situation.
I still maintain that cheating is wrong for whatever reason and think you should look deeper at the reasons why your wife doesn't want sex with you.
If we do something we enjoy, we wsnt to repeat the experience and alternatively if we don't enjoy something we don't want to do it again.
Obviously your wife doesn't enjoy sex with you-maybe your not doing everything you can to make sure she enjoys it as much as you?
Just a thought......
I agree that when the couple is under the age of fifty and they seem to part company as far as sex is concerned... yes, a divorce is preferred to "going outside" for sex.... but if the couple are in their late sixties.. and the wife has denied sex for some fifteen years... and the man has tried very hard to share love and friendship with his wife...but she would have none of it... had rather play computer games and bridge with other friends... yet, they have built so much together.. raised a family together... and now have health problems... they need each other for support... and despite the shabby treatment by his wilfe....the husband still loves his wife. ....but I don't see what is wrong if the husband finds someone who just wants to share some heavenly sex once in a while... Just as good friends... The husband is less frustrated...actually gets along better with his very selfish wife. And it is possible to be discreet.... I just don't see the harm... and I do see the benefits...
Interesting situation ibgud2u, but I'm curious to know...why not be honest with the wife? The children are grown,¿the husband¿does not need to stay for them. Wouldn't both the wife and the husband be much happier apart. Both individuals could then start new, more fulfulling relationships!
What is your opinion of this situation: a married couple... the woman at age 35 starts losing her interest in any intimacy with the husband...and in fact the house and kids also. The husband is very busy trying to keep a roof over the family, plus raise the kids properly. The wife gets involved with her career... cares less and less about the husband, kids, and family. Sex ends by the time the wife is only 45. The husband loves her despite the way she has behaved...loves her very much. But - he has very strong sexual disires... not desires for divorce. The kids grow up and leave. There is just the two of them...They are older, some minor health problems. The man still loves his wife but is sexually very frustrated... tries everything. The wife will not work with him at all... is just in her own world and thinks things are fine. After some 20 years of trying to become friends and lovers with his wife... he finally desides to go outside his marriage. He does... He is astounded - he has no guilt as he has tried everything possible to save his marriage. He is surprised at how fantastic sex can be with a willing woman. He is also very surprised that he is getting along much better with his wife. He has an affair that lasts for some three years... and during this... he was not able to get any closer to his wife...but he does get along better with her, his daily life is much more pleasant... and he is not so frustrated. He and the lady he is seeing keep things in perspective...do not wish to marry.. do not wish to rock any boats... just see each other every once in a while for some extremely satisfying sex. No one is harmed... Who is cheating who here? Where is the problem in this? Did not the wife do the cheating by not caring about the husband's relationship with her... either or both as a friend or lover? Personally, I believe the husband did about the only thing he could do... and it worked...
Well thought out comments here with some really different perspectives.
Relationships are about communication, however, discreet doesn't mean deception in all cases. Discreet meeting with a married woman would only be if the woman had the husbands consent (for whatever the reason).
As a single man being asked, I will not get involved in the deception of any innocent party. My first question in a situation would be "does your partner know about this?" and if the answer is "no".. the reply would be "No Way".
I am new to this site but from what O have been reading you are putting most of the blame on the guys but what about the woman who are taking the men from there families???? Don't get me wrong the guy is to blame too but it just seems like the guy is the one that get most of the blame for it while the woman just sits back and enjoys the ride. Believe me I am not defending the men but it has to be said. The way I see it, it is more her fault than his because if she wasn't putting it out there it wouldn't be there for him to have in the first place. And she still does it after she finds out he has a family. I am sorry if I am offending anyone but this is a very sore subject for me right now. But this is my opinion so it doesn't really matter
Jan63 write: I personally would rather chat to a guy, no matter how mis-guided regarding the myth of bored lonely housewives, who made errors on his posting than a married man who thinks it necessary to belittle others in order to promote his presence.
Can I just make a quick point to one or two of the more self-righteous here (especially the one that seems to have had a visit from the 'bitter and twisted' fairy) - the only reason the married guy from Leicester copped a roasting on here initially was because he tried to belittle the guy who made the original posting.
I personally would rather chat to a guy, no matter how mis-guided regarding the myth of bored lonely housewives, who made errors on his posting than a married man who thinks it necessary to belittle others in order to promote his presence.
Congratulations Safarivista, you have posted somthing which is (unlike many of the postings from the more pure people) very well thought out and human. I was beginning to think that this site had become almost completely Nazified by robots who cannot either reason, think for themselves, or show the least bit of compassion.
I figure don't judge someone else unless you have walked in their shoes.
Well, I have walked in those shoes... I was in an unhappy, loveless, sexless marriage for 19 yrs but not once did I ever consider or would consider cheating... and yes that IS what it is no matter how you sugarcoat it. My personal opinion, if you find yourself in this situation, go talk to your spouse.... if that doesn't fix the problem, then tell them what you are planning on doing. If they say go ahead, then more power to ya.... but if you sleep with someone else other than your spouse WHILE married WITHOUT their permission (as in swinging), then it is cheating... pure and simple. You can call it whatever you need to in order to sleep at night. But when the other party finds out about it and are crushed, then just remember it was your choice and don't be surprised when you find yourself divorced anyway but without anything else. Sorry, but that is why marriages aren't working these days.... no one takes their marriage vows seriously. It is so sad. Take my advice... if you find yourself in that situation, do something to fix the problem or get out. Well, I will step down from my soapbox... I know I am going to get blasted but ... oh well... I don't really care. My opinion... my right to it!
I've not posted on here for a long time. Primarily because I get lost in tracking the postings. This time I think it's important to address the comments on men married or otherwise who pursue married women. First I doubt bored men or women seek out someone else due to boredom. It's easy to be on the outside looking in. Sometimes you may love your spouse profoundly but no matter how hard you try there is something missing in the bedroom.
That leaves a person in a difficult situation.
You can stay where you are and live without certain needs being fulfilled and grow old and bitter
you can divorce your partner and throw away an otherwise wonderful relationship
you can seek out a discrete relationship.
Sometimes people reach out because they want to keep their spouse and simply have a void that needs to be addressed.
Is it right? That is a matter of perspective.
Is it dangerous? Definitely!
Should you do it? Each person must gauge the risk vs the void. For some the void is too great and fulfilling it makes them a better person and a better wife or husband since it takes the pressure off the missing element.
I figure don't judge someone else unless you have walked in their shoes.