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BBW/SSBBW, large, or fat? Which do you prefer to be called?
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Posted on Wed, Jan 04, 2006 02:49

I use the word "fat." I, too, believe in taking the word back.

I refuse to use the term "obese" because in the dictionary, it's defined as a disease.

I refuse to use the word "overweight" because it implies judgement.

"Large", "big"...those types of words are fine, too. They're honest, descriptive, and apt.

We think in our language and I believe that if you think the word "fat" is bad, then you think being "fat" is bad.

I don't want to hide behind euphamisms.



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Posted on Wed, Jan 04, 2006 00:39

for myself stocky, large, i still kinda take offense to huge, fat or obese ... I'm not quite obese but I'm definitely stocky and large and big or whatever, I'm 6'0 and weight at about 280 - 300 depending on what scale i use....

As for women i like using pleasantly plump. or voluptuous ... one of my favorite words.

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Posted on Mon, Jan 02, 2006 14:07

Id rather be called a women!

Cos thats what i am!

huggles
Vonnie xx

  
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Posted on Sun, Jan 01, 2006 21:22

SupersizedK,

I approach it much like you do. Being upfront with it actually flushes out folks that aren't sincere. :-) Nice to know someone around the block feels the same way I do!

Some get freaked out when I refer to myself as the fat ch*ck or kid or whatever, but it doesn't make me uncomfortable at all. :-)



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Posted on Sun, Jan 01, 2006 17:49

Well I'm happy to refer myself as BBW or cuddly on the net. It tends to weed out those who are definitely not interested in a cuddly woman and if I tell them that then i dont need to explain any further who i am. If they are not interested in a cuddly woman, and not interested in the 'real me' then why bother give any more of myself to them.



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Posted on Sat, Dec 31, 2005 10:26

As others before have said, it's all in the context.

I usually use 'corpulent.' Since most people don't know what that means, I typically have to elaborate with, "That's a fun way of saying I'm super-sized!" Which, frankly, is a fun way of saying I'm really fat. ;-)

Fat? Yes, that describes me.
BBW? Sure, I'll answer to that-- although I've found that people who aren't BBW's or FA's tend to think that only 15 extra pounds is BBW.

SSBBW I greatly prefer to BBW, because it lets them know from the start that I am more than just a little overweight.

For some reason 'Obese' annoys me; I only want to hear that if you're a doctor.

If I wasn't 'in-person,' I used to tip-toe around my size. For instance, if I was making plans on the phone, or even just chatting online with someone about a favorite book or a movie, I'd avoid describing myself. If we weren't going to be dating, what's the difference, right? Then I realized that this behavior lead others into thinking that I was either ashamed of myself or giving them permission to treat me poorly based on my weight.

My weight is now one of the first things I'll tell someone about. I make a point of it. I've found it's made a *huge* difference in how people treat me. I get far more respect and courtesy. I think it's because by being up-front about my size, it lets them know that I'm confident & not trying to 'trick' them. Just a theory.



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Posted on Sun, Dec 18, 2005 23:59

Rockchickbbw write:
Yeah I agree with what you gals are saying about the "Beautiful" term in BBW , it just seems to be a label thats across the board, so if a guy asks me online if I am a BBW, I usually say, "well I am big, and I am a woman, as to whether you think I am beautiful or not is another thing". As the old saying goes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, whether you are fat or skinny or whatever ....
Yeah I agree with what you gals are saying about the "Beautiful" term in BBW , it just seems to be a label thats across the board, so if a guy asks me online if I am a BBW, I usually say, "well I am big, and I am a woman, as to whether you think I am beautiful or not is another thing". As the old saying goes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, whether you are fat or skinny or whatever ....

I agree, but I think that the "beautiful" in BBW directly applies to what you perceive of yourself. I have known beautiful people that consider themselves below average in attractiveness and others who thought they were absolutely gorgeous, even though they were quite plain to me. Personally speaking, I would just rather be called fun and sexy!

  
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Posted on Tue, Dec 13, 2005 16:29

Why is he scary?



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Posted on Thu, Dec 01, 2005 06:47

my sentiments exactly, someone may be adonis the 2nd but if he has the personality and emotions of a plank of wood it's going to get boring very quickly. my favourite way of describing myself is well rounded lol

  


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Posted on Wed, Nov 30, 2005 20:20

I agree Dee....

I know we all cringe at the old cliches like "beauty is only skin deep" and "it's what's on the inside that counts", however there is a bit of truth to these old words of wisdom. Isn't it amazing sometimes how unattractive someone typically considered "hot" can become when they open their mouth and you see actually how ugly and vapid they are?

While we all have our lust objects, when it comes to long term....give me someone with a great soul versus a great body any day!



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Posted on Wed, Nov 30, 2005 17:17

Actually one of my favorite Rikki Lake movies was called "Babycakes". In this movie she got the guy over a skinny woman and she didn't lose a pound. Came by my nickname I liked the movie so much.

  


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Posted on Wed, Nov 30, 2005 14:17

Well I usually prefer "big" or "BBW" but sometimes I've told guys I'm "fat" and rather enjoyed the freedom to say the word... was kind of liberating and made me chuckle to just be so upfront once in awhile. ;) However, it's different if you say it about yourself or someone else says it about you....

silken



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Posted on Sun, Nov 27, 2005 05:10

When I'm talking to someone I never use the term BBW. I just tell them I have some meat on my bones and if they are looking for a skinny woman I ain't it.



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Posted on Sat, Nov 26, 2005 20:31

I hate the word fat
does that mean deep down inside I hate myself ?
had to ask someoneon the site what FA meant tonite
I'm so dumb
& then he was only looking for a sex hook-up
jeeeeesh ! ! !
not crazy about the term chubby chaser either
i think big or large are better



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Posted on Tue, Oct 11, 2005 19:41

I have to admit I had never encountered the term BBW before I joined this site, so for me at least, it has no fetishist connotations (though from what you folks have said it does seem to have those connotations for many people).

I also have problems with the inclusion of the word 'beautiful' in BBW. I'm sure that most of us are using the term to mean that even though we are big, we are still beautiful, or can still be beautiful, and in that sense - the 'fat does not equal ugly' sense - I support it.

But as several of you have pointed out, not everyone who is big is necessarily beautiful... and if you think they are, maybe you have a fat fetish.

I agree with what many of you have said about the word 'fat' - I often use it to describe myself, and I'm okay with it when I say it or my friends say it, but I don't like it when a**holes throw the term at me in a way that is clearly derogatory.

I once overheard one of my friends, trying to describe me in a politically correct way, refer to me as 'husky-looking'. That cracked me up.



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Posted on Mon, Oct 10, 2005 12:38

I have no problem with Fat. On the other hand I told some guy from another site I was fat and he emailed back " I don't mean to be mean but do you have a problem with your weight" I didn't but apparently he did and he said he was such a nice guy, shocking!
After some thought i do realize I don't really like BBW.
If some arsehole tells you that you are fat just turn around smile and say thank you, I know, or got with spices idea.



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Posted on Mon, Oct 10, 2005 11:08


Theophrastus write:
I think it's important that big people reclaim the term fat. It is often an ugly word and thrown around far too easily. If we can reclaim it then it looses all its power over us.


Amen, Theo!

We're here!
We're fat!
Take that!

I used to hate when people pointed and whispered (or didn't bother whispering) something about "look how fat ..." whatever blah blah blah.

Now I just turn to them and say "Gosh, you're right. I *am* fat. You're a genius. Almost no one notices!"

heh heh heh.

Spice



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Posted on Mon, Oct 10, 2005 02:54

I think it's important that big people reclaim the term fat. It is often an ugly word and thrown around far too easily. If we can reclaim it then it looses all its power over us.

It's like gays taking back queer and black people taking back n**ger (although that's been less succesful admittedly).



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Posted on Sun, Oct 09, 2005 13:02

Nice one LonesomeDove...Hi.
Personally, I HATE BBW/SSBBW/BHM. It stinks of fetishism to me, and if you type it into a search engine, all you get is porn etc.
As cheramie so rightly said, if someone can see you, then why call yourself anything at all?
Fat is at least honest I suppose, although better for me to say it than someone else, as it's become a very negative adjective.
If I was describing myself to a blind stranger, I would say that I'm a 'big gal', or 'cuddly' or maybe let him have a feel for himself..LOL
My kids say I'm 'squashy' and 'comfy'.
Each to their own. We all have words and terms that we're more comfortable with. But for goodness sake let's dispense with the labels, because all they do is perpetuate the prejudices.

FatJack xx

  


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Posted on Sun, Oct 09, 2005 09:00

I don't, but I am aware that the label exists. To be honest though, I'd simply forgotten it was there.

Besides which, "BHM" is an afterthought. There is no female fat fetishist scene, the term's just been adopted to have something to call fat guys other than fat guys.

I will remove it though, thanks for pointing it out.



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