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why do nice guys finish last.
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Veröffentlicht am Tue, Oct 10, 2006 17:42

I just broke up with a woman or should say she dumped me because she is too hung up on her old ex .She told me of how he treated her and that he was ABUSSIVE to her and all the things he put her through .she is the mother of 2 great kids and she is pregnant with my child .she dumped me and needed an excuse to do so (she said I TALK TOO MUCH)I found out later that she had been talking on the phone to her ex about getting back with her and they are .I am the complete oppisite of this man I would have given her the world .Why do nice guys get the boot when the jerks get the girls do women enjoy being treated like a door mat?



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Veröffentlicht am Sun, Mar 11, 2007 07:42

In my humble opinion, nice guys tend to find their opposites, ergo a naughty lady. Sometimes it's human curiosity that draws us to the opposite.

Nice women have the same issues. I also have learned that it's a life lesson for both male and female. Once we learn, we get past it and then start looking, in earnest for "the one".

You're normal, I'm normal - life gets in the way sometimes when we become our own worst enemy.

I'm past it now, I've realigned my vision of who I would like to meet. I've also learned that nice guys and nice gals, hide more, from the general public because they have been burned too much by horrible women or horrible men.

I've also learned that my childhood concepts don't work in todays world. Get out there, meet many "someones" to find out if there is a "type" you will really fall for. I meet at a book store, then have a afternoon drink, then say goodbye, if there was a spark, we chat. If not no harm done for a few hours.

Good luck to everyone -- all of us ;-)

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Veröffentlicht am Sun, Mar 04, 2007 13:55

Hi ...first of all i wanna apologize if my english is not perfect ....
I think all the good people are suffering from people who are not deserve them ...Are also womans who are also dumped just because one ex is better then they are even they was treat very bad the man ...I just have one experience like this ..she hurt him very much ..she dump him whit 5 days until the weeding in the day of his birthday ...but he still cry after her.I give him everything what he was need ..love ,affection, care ..i was try to heal his broken heart but he was wanted to take a pause on our relationship .Now we was broke up from 5 mounths and he is still single crying after her...but wanted also my friendship ...
I don;t know why the honest people who love ,respect and care a person are always the one disepoited and hurt
But we must keep the hope and faith ..in one day we will meet someone who deserve us and we deserve them ...
I wish you all is the best in world ,lot of LOVE,RESPECT and CARE...



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Veröffentlicht am Sat, Jan 27, 2007 20:10

All nice guys do not finish last, they just end up with women who dont appreciate them. I can relate to what you feel and also what your ex feels. My ex seemed like he loved me and he persued me for the longest and as soon as I gave my heart to him, he started to treat me bad, part of me still holds on to hope and I cant stop thinking about the good part of him, so im telling you this is what she is doing. She loves him and even though he treated her bad, she cant stop herself. It is unfortunate for the kids and for you, but that is how it is. I dont know why good people end up with the ones that are going to hurt them in the end.If I knew the answer to that, believe me I would be in a better state of mind!I want to be loved, respected,appreciated and admired and I want a life partner who knows my worth. I am sure you want the same and it is sad to say, it wont be with her. Just concentrate on taking care of your child. That is all you can do right now.



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Veröffentlicht am Tue, Jan 23, 2007 06:20

I dont think tht a nice guy finishes last;tht particular women made a choice;it sounds like it wasnt a good choice;nevertheless,it is here choice.I t hurts and thts obvious;keep on living your life to the best of your ability and do that one day at a time;be good to yourself and to the child;tht child will need the best that he or she can get.Been there-done that.



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Veröffentlicht am Tue, Jan 09, 2007 07:41

I really wish I could tell you why women sometimes go for jerks. I myself don't understand it at all. First thing I want in a man is someone who can make me feel good about myself and who makes me want to spend all my waking hours with him. Maybe some women stick with the jerks because of stability or lack of confidence in themselves. I just never fully understood why that was.
All I can say is please stay just the way you are, because you are NOT the problem.



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Veröffentlicht am Tue, Jan 02, 2007 18:19

As you can see there are a lot of us out there that are really looking for a good guy. As soon as I go out with a man and I see ANY warning signs that he may be a jerk, there is no second or third date. I don't take any chances with that. I was married for over 13 years to a sweet guy (who told me he was gay so that ended that marriage) but he was also very mentally abusive, because of his own ISSUES. So every date I go on I learn a little bit more of how I want to be treated and I won't settle for less. I'd rather be alone than be with someone that tries to make me feel inferior.

ANYHOOOOO, there are a LOT of women out there that want a nice sweet guy that will bring them flowers, call them just to talk, take them on a romantic weekend somewhere...sigh. So just keep being open, honest and sweet and you will find some WONDERFUL woman that will want you BECAUSE you are so nice and sweet.



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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Dec 27, 2006 21:23

I truly believe that us nice guys go thru the paces so when the right girl comes along, we are ready to full appericate her and everything that she is and could potentially represent.

We're not all gonna finish last all the time, I like to think we out number the jerks and I believe in the power that we wield in our favor



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Veröffentlicht am Sat, Dec 23, 2006 11:00

sorry to hear about your situation, rob. (hug)

there are many women who are looking for a nice guy...myself included. not looking for the guy who'll break my heart, take me for granted, or not be able to tell me how much he cares for me. hang in there. :)



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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Dec 13, 2006 07:32

it the way of the world my friend as i have fancied or love some women and the men the get or go for are nothink like me, i get told that i'm 1 in a million cost i'm nice and friendly and funny but that dont count to much in the real world.



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Veröffentlicht am Sat, Nov 18, 2006 10:37


Even if it's just about 20 minutes he's sacrificing. lol



:-p



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Veröffentlicht am Fri, Nov 17, 2006 18:41

That just sucks and she is stupid. Sorry, but chicks like that aggrevate me! I am looking for the kind of guy that will love me with everything that he is and want what I want and then some. My brother went from one spawn of satan chick to another and has become a real jerk. Why? Why do people let these things happen to themselves.
I feel for you, I really do especially since she is carrying your baby.
I wish you luck!!!

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Veröffentlicht am Fri, Nov 17, 2006 06:49

Aireman wrote:
First I'd like to apologize for the spelling in my last post. I guess I got a little hot telling the story.


No fault there.


And on a lighter note as a nice guy I always try to finish last! ;-)
Re:




It's always wonderful when a gal finds a guy who makes certain sacrifices for the greater good of pleasure. ;-) Even if it's just about 20 minutes he's sacrificing. lol



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Veröffentlicht am Thu, Nov 16, 2006 11:49

First I'd like to apologize for the spelling in my last post. I guess I got a little hot telling the story. And on a lighter note as a nice guy I always try to finish last! ;-)



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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Nov 15, 2006 13:25

Aireman write:
I feel for ya Rob. I am just ending a 13yr relationship/marriage. After sticking up for her and supporting her Thur some pretty bad stuff she had gotten herself into I found out she was stepping out on me with a married friend of ours. And after having the blinders taken off my eyes I figured out she has been doing it for almost a year! I married her and helped raise her two boys. Now that they are out of the house she took off with the other guy. So much for being NICE. ( um mm does this sound too bitter? )

Re:





Um.. no!



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Veröffentlicht am Mon, Nov 13, 2006 22:51

I feel for ya Rob. I am just ending a 13yr relationship/marriage. After sticking up for her and supporting her Thur some pretty bad stuff she had gotten herself into I found out she was stepping out on me with a married friend of ours. And after having the blinders taken off my eyes I figured out she has been doing it for almost a year! I married her and helped raise her two boys. Now that they are out of the house she took off with the other guy. So much for being NICE. ( um mm does this sound too bitter? )



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Veröffentlicht am Mon, Oct 16, 2006 06:32

Sometimes, some women feel that their abuser abuses them BECAUSE they love them, and that is why they behave so obsessively. Some women confuse anger for passion. Abusers often make women feel like no one else will want them or love them like they do. Believe it or not, it IS deep psychology.. a kind of brain-washing and for some women the need for love often beats out the need for peace and stability.



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Veröffentlicht am Fri, Oct 13, 2006 14:44

Unfortunately, your ex has problems that are too deep for you to even begin to help her with. What is really scary is that she has two kids in her mess and is about to bring another into the world. I really feel for you because you are stuck with this woman until your soon-to-be-born child is at least 18 years old. The real question here is not, "Why do nice guys finish last?", but "What can and should I do to ensure that my child grows up in a loving home?" Sorry, man, but this has "Jerry Springer" written all over it.



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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Oct 11, 2006 02:54

There is so much psychology behind why she went back to the Jerk! Just know that there are many of us ladies that are looking for a nice guy!!! We want to be loved and accepted for who we are and would love a nice guy to come knock on our doors!! Believe that it was NOT you that has the problem! Good luck on your search, she's out there.



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