Growing old Funny jokes and anecdotes

  • View author's info Author posted on Mar 29, 2006 17:03


    OLD" IS WHEN..... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one, I can't do both!"

    "OLD" IS WHEN..... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

    "OLD" IS WHEN..... A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.

    "OLD" IS WHEN..... Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

    "OLD" IS WHEN..... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

    "OLD" IS WHEN..... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

    "OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.

    "OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

    "OLD" IS WHEN..... An "all-nighter" means not getting up to pee. If you're under 50, this may be amusing. If you're over 50, this is probably reality
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  • View author's info posted on Mar 30, 2006 10:37


    THE GOLDEN YEARS HAVE COME AT LAST!
    I cannot see, I cannot pee
    I cannot chew, I cannot screw
    My memory shrinks, my hearing stinks
    No sense of smell, I look like hell
    My body's drooping, I got trouble pooping
    The golden years have come at last
  • View author's info posted on Mar 30, 2006 10:35


    BULLETIN!
    Seniors are the nations leading carriers of aids:
    Hearing aids
    band aids
    rolaids
    walking aids
    medical aids
    government aids
    Most of all, monetary aid to their children!
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