so never in a million years did i think i'd ever have the, whatever, to maybe talk to a girl/ask her out, esp on a dating website no less.
however i don't really care what others think of me anymore. i have conquered my fear and can now hopefully start living my life the way i want to
anyway to my question. well i guess the best way is to explain my backstory: i was raised catholic and stayed that way til lhigh school. then i just stopped going to church and learned about a lot of different faiths and beliefs and have been searching for something thats right.
recently i went back to the catholic church.
anyway my dilemma here is that i think i may connect and form a great friendship with one woman, but she is pagan.
the thing is that i'm not so wrapped up in my religion that i wont change or cant get along with her. love is above all else what i desire in my life.
so i guess my question is: is it ok for a catholic to date a pagan? will there be short term or long trem problems with the relationship?
Religions are so insane it defies the imagination. Think! God is all powerful, all knowing and created everything! Right! Just by looking at that... you see that God created us imperfect... then created an eternal hell for those who accidentally fall into his hell. Then he sits around and watches the train wrecks. No...Satan did not cause hell... God created Satan and allowed him to create hell. There is absolutely no other way to interpret that. God created everything... cancer, evil people, wars, lethal accidents, everything! He did not have to create such a terrible world then create us and put us in it. If you really think, religions make no sense. We are brain washed from birth and told NOT TO THINK! Also... there is absolutely no proof that Jesus really existed... only the stories. Also... all the stories in the bible were written down by men...and if you have half a brain, you know men will get it wrong...particularly since all those stories passed through various languages, cultures, and histories. Men screw up everything. Oh, yes... and religion is highly sexist.
The topic has been around for some time but it touches on something I have been thinking about lately.
In many religions it is considered a dreadful sin not to believe in their god, as it is a heresey to believe in a slightly different version of their ultimate truth. Hence is the association with infidels at some level or another in most religions a taboo. That's specially true for salvation religions.
I find that very particular. Even as a normal human being there are a million things worse than someone simply refusing to believe in my existence. By logic, how much more should a supreme being who created the whole universe stand above such weaknesses?
At a closer took at this I can't help but wonder whether that sort of dogma hasn't been created to keep people who are weak at the core of their beliefs shielded...(or beliefs which are weak themselves???) If someone believes in something to be 100% true he or she doesn't care what other people think about it. It's those who fear to be ridiculed by contrast - not by the other person, mind you.
The only thing dating someone from another belief can do is to broaden your horizon and help you grow. Either you find that what you believe is 100% true and stay the same. Or you see the differences between the two faiths and your own take on the world changes and matures as it only can if exposed to something new. Essentially it's like a test, only that there can't be a negative result for yourself (very much for your current doctrines, though).
oh well.... that attitude of the sixties that I detest...."if it feels good do it" type of mentality that I hated and still hate so much. There is a right and there is a wrong. If you are Catholic you are Catholic if you are not you are not. If you are, you do not want a marriage or lifetime relationship with someone that does not share your faith. I married a muslim and I really regret it man. At first the youth and the passion obscure the issues, but once you start getting older and maturing, faith and spirituality play a big part of your relationship. I can't share that with my soon to be ex=husband because he does not understand how I feel and is not interested in getting to know my faith. And who said Catholics are not open minded? What kind of stupid comment is that? It seems the ex-catholics are the worst critics of the Catholic church. I never hear any priest or catholic knocking down any other religions or protestant denominations. I do hear plenty of criticism towards catholics by the people least capable of giving an educated opinion about anything. Ignoramuses that think they know the church and know nothing. So, to you, Unknown Author I say, DO NOT DATE THAT PAGAN. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE !!!
It's something of a political issue here. The churches use the census information to maximise their political pull but up until the last census you couldn't put atheist and the country's still full of people who identify as being part of a religion but don't necessarily beieve and certainly don't practice.
Even a friend of mine, who is a stout atheist, would put catholic down on forms he filled in because he was that rather than any other religion.
SO identifying oneself as christian can mean loads of things that don't involve ever going to church, so it would be nice to see a little more clarification on that issue... because it is kind of an important issue.
That raises an interesting point Chris. Namely what to make of the "religion" section of the profile.
In the UK loads of people do consider themselves C of E but never go to services and once they've had a few in them are quite happy to talk about the evils of religion. So if those people say they're C of E, you take it with a pinch of salt because you know it'll never impinge upon your life with them. However, others are members of religions and mean it. So it is difficult to tell. I know on yahoo they have 2 questions... what religion you go to and how often you go to church. I could date pretty much anyone from any religion but I couldn't deal with someone who was actively religious (and they'd probably find me unbearable at that).
Then there are people who express an interest in what religion they're looking for. I tend to take this as a sign that that person does care about religion but even then, sometimes every box will be ticked except muslims or catholics... which seems to me more of a political statement.
So I think we could do with a "services" box in our profiles.
In the UK someone will call themselves a Christian or a member of the Church of England even though they never go to church. They do it with football as well, they say that they support a team, but have never been to a match. So if you aren't into God and you date someone like that it isn't too bad.
It only really becomes an issue if you're not into God and the person you date is very much into God and does go to church on a regular basis.
I'm a good bloke and I live a good and a moral life. However I've seen far too much trouble in the world which is caused by religions and mutual disrespect between religions.
Personally i'm happy without religion or football in my life.
Bloom, I'm trying to figure out which of the two writers you are aiming at with 'is that supposed to hurt me?' I suppose being both conservative and xtian you see that in one or both responses. I looked for it, twice in both responses and didn't see it. (there was a dart shot at the catholic system however) You remind me of a conservative xtian I had the misfortune to work with.
She still has a sour outlook on life, and everything is WRONG, and she didn't want to BEAR those 2 children, and on a sunny day "it's NOT such a nice day out" and EVERYONE picks on xtians. If you would ask her is the glass half full or half empty she would say: It's a threat to our xtian way of life". Sheesh. Xtians hating xtians. Moslems killing moslems over cartoons. One doesn't see atheists or buddhists doing this.
thats a sarcastic statement. People let religion get in the way of things all to often. You'll find that pagan ways tend to make more sense than other religions...peaceful on the most part honour nature nothing BAD persay.
Love,loyalty, honour and trust are things not barred by any religion that i know of ... all of them ... that i know of anyways. accept these things as important.
Don't let this chance pass you by. she could be the most wonderful woman you have ever met.
I have also dated a girl who claimed to be pagan, some of her ways were .. alien to me but she taught me alot about tolerance etc. All in all it was a good relationship and shes one of the few girls i've dated that i've kept in contact with, for 6 years now. So at least you can still have an awsome friend.
Well I thank everyone in advance for letting everyone say what they believe, even if they disagree with it. We are all entitled to simple respect regardless of whether our thoughts are in agreement or not. :)
Personally I would have to say that I don't think the Catholic Church will likely agree with you being involved with/married to a pagan but you should probably address that question to the priest at your Church.
As for what I believe myself, I have been in this type of situation....have met someone I really liked who turned out to be a pagan and had to pass the dating thing by. I can like and respect them as a person no problem but in order to proceed into a relationship with them I would have to go against the essence of what I believe.
I have come up against this same issue several times when I have met some nice Muslim men. I like and respect them and enjoy their company but I cannot make a life with them... our beliefs are opposed. Instead I maintain a friendship and we often discuss our beliefs but agree to disagree. ;)
honestly i haven't gone to church in a few years but recently started back, just cause i was feeling kind of lost and alone
my personal thoughts are that you have to take what you want from religion. many people take bible tales literally. i just try to follow the more general ideas: accept all people, help those in need, be civil
i guess part of my problem is the inner conflict i have... never sure if i should be asking god for help or blaming him for my problems
the bottom line is that i wouldn't have a problem dating someone from another faith, so if they didn't either i guess it seems like everything would be ok
i don't know... if i were truly in love i wouldn't discount the idea of myself changing religions even...
the purpose of life is for you to live every day to its fullest
Wow, was that suppose to hurt me? I simply stated my opinion and specifically expressed it as that. Just because you disagree doesn't give you the right to belittle others. I pray that you find who you are looking for but with an attitude like that I'm not sure what kind of luck your going to have.
Theo, I believe her answer would be that said relationship should be based on God. That if you are different religions then your focus will not be on got but on the other person perhaps. Just my guess based on the crap I hear from my hyprcrit reglious neighbor.
You definetly have to be open to other's beliefs, and be respectful of each other's beliefs. But it it's love you feel go for it, with open lines of communication and respect for one another -- you're relationship could be a successful one.
But not to be a downer, thinking in the long term, I have had friends who were happily married raised on different faiths, but when it comes to the children and how they will be raised, there were the usual disagreements that came up again.
I will give you my very conservative Christian opinion. God should be the center of all relationships. Unless that is the case it won't work because religion is always going to be an issue. I have no issue with people having friends of different faiths but being in a long term marriage relationship is different. In otherwords... you said love is above all but it's not unless it's the love of God. But granted...this is just my opinon and I would not force it on anyone.