A women recently lost her husband. She had him cremated. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the patio table. Then while tracing her
fingers in his ashes, she started talking to him.
"Irving, you know that fur coat you promised me? I brought
it with the insurance money!
"Irving, remember that new car you promised me? Well I also
brought it with the insurance money!
"Irving. do you remember that emerald necklace you promised me? I brought it, too, with the insurance money."
Still tracing her finger in his ashes, she said, "Irving, remember that blow job I promised you? Here it comes......"
Three man used to fishing in the weekends.One weekend one man did not became to fishing.He did not came next and over next as well.He became next and were sad and did not speak any worlds.
Two other man did not disturbed him many hours,but then decided ask what kind of problem he has.He said his wife died.His friends consoled him,but he was still sad.
Next weekend was he sad and over next weekend he was sad still as well.
His friends said that he can find new wife because he is not first man who lost wife.He answered:"Yeah,I can find new wife,but I do not believe that I can find same good as she was,she got good bait in her stomach,roundworms."