I am in the beauty industry and notice more and more people find large women invisible walking up the street I get bumped into nearly every day no apology ,its like hey I never saw you men dont make eye contact or they constantly mention their wives or girlfriends and I am just asking would you like a bag for your skin care products lol
Wow. I have found that in the past 5 years or so I am much more likely to call just about anyone sweetie who does or says anything I consider, well, sweet! I had NO IDEA that it would bother anyone so much!!!
Should I really stop doing it? Really??? One thing I don't like about the "business world" is that sometimes it feels like there is some kind of "rule" to act less than human with others (or I should say, very staid, starchy or "strict"). I don't like that at all myself, but now I'm going to have to think about this...!!
Too all of the young ladies on site by displayed photos none of you are remotely close to invisable always lived by the treat everyone as you wish to be treated please keep heads up there are still some decent people in the world!!stay sexy ladies
I get that all the time, the 'unseen' feeling. I can stand just about anywhere to try and be out of the way and people will still run into me or not try to avoid me anyway. I feel like I am constantly playing street twister to not run into people who have more room than I do to avoid sidewalk-jams. I'm also rather tomboy/rough around the edges so I get rather annoyed or confused looks when I am in places like the body shop, or cosmetic stores, or even just 'fashionable' or 'girly' stores. Sometimes I don't care, but other times it starts to get to me. I usually take a friend with me shopping nowadays just so I have someone to talk to to ignore it all.
I have become conscious of the fact that if you allow it, people will try to "steal your joy". "Stealing someone's joy" is when you are having a stress free day (or moment) in which just about everything is going ok and someone who is not having such a great day (or moment) decides to take their frustrations out on you. They do something rude that would generally put you in a bad mood: bump into you; not hold the elevator for you; overlook you in line; not respond to your audible greeting to them; etc. I happen to value my "joy" and depending on my mood, I usually can ignore such slights.
I hate confrontation and I really hate getting worked up over something that will have been over before I could even make what I would hope would be a clever retort, meant to put down the instigator as he or she meant to do to me initially. (Whew! That was a mouthful!! Now say it 10 times fast!!)
BUT...on the rare occasion when my day has not been so good. When for some reason or another, everything that I touch turns to crap. Nothing has been accomplished. Hades has broken loose and I am feeling so freaking tee'd off that even Satan is afraid to look me in the eye, I feel so so sorry for the person that decided to overlook or put down the Big Girl. That is when I use my size in an intimidating manner. In that frame of mind, I don't hesitate to walk up on someone and get in their face and ask them to repeat their rude remark. I have even had the occasion to fake interest in purchasing several hundred of dollars at a cosmetic store when a clerk ignored me and waited on a few other people. When he finally got around to asking me what I wanted, I asked for full makeup, including the skin care products. After he made me up and "sold" me on everything, I let him ring me up and when it came time to pay, I told him to "F off and get it from those other B's that he was falling all over to help out", and started to leave the counter. He was not pleased and called me a few names. Of course, Fat and Black was but a few of them. I turned around and laughed at him and kept on walking. I felt that he owed me that because he added to my frustration that day. And I felt so much better.
I work in the retail profession and I have seen my share of discourtesy on both sides of the counter. As far as eye contact is concerned I don't always make eye contact and it's not out of disrespect. I can be a little self conscious and I have trouble making eye contact with strangers. It?s just shyness not intentional rudeness. Also I work a service department and sometimes have to concentrate on what I?m working on while answering questions from customers?job hazard I?m afraid. I have a habit of calling people sir and mam when I don?t know their names. Those are actually terms of respect and meant as a courtesy not an insult.
As far as invisibility goes I know all about that. I have been large all my life. Yet to be honest if it?s between being invisible and the insults hurled down at me from above at the mall by a pack of feral teenagers last weekend. I?d rather be invisible. It didn?t bother me in the slightest but I worry about how stuff like that makes my daughter feel. She?s 12 and doesn?t deserve the grief.
Yeah I know what you mean here..A few months ago I was..At a local mall and waiting in line..At the counter of a beauty supply store..The lady had been checking some one out..So I figured I'd just wait my turn to ask my question..Well when she was done she then turned..To the other girl behind the counter..Yes there were 2 of them there..And they both completely and blatantly ignored me..As I stood there talking to them..I couldn't believe it needless to say..I made sure they herd me as I told them..What wonderful costumer service they had in there store as I left LoL..And then more recently I had my cat.. To the vet the other day..And it was just me and a young guy in the waiting room..I was nice as I am to people.. And smiled he immediately looked nervous and awkward..The nurse came out to give him some paperwork..And wouldn't you know it but some how..The need to bring up his wife came up like 5 times.. From each of them in there convo..I'm not kidding 5 times LoL..Common people I'm large not slow in the head.. And just cuz I smile at you doesn't mean I wanna jump in your pants..Gezz were do these people get off...
Face it, people are just getting more rude and self centered. I personally think that computers are part of the problem. Not something like this where we talk and air our dirty laundry, but the people who spend hours playing games or whatever they do. They aren't used to interacting with others. I am always amazed when walking down the street, and there is a group of four or more, and they walk side by side and won't even make an effort to bunch up or someone drop back and let me pass. When this happens, I hate to say it, but I have a rude response. I will either stop and just stand there and plant myself so they HAVE to go around me, or I'll walk into them. I've been known to adjust my backpack so that someone gets hit. And I've nailed old ladies, little kids, whoever. I have this condition that when someone is rude or an a**hole, I have to be ruder or a bigger a**hole back. As soon as someone gets rude to me or with me, they have lost all rights to me being pleasant or nice back. You get what you give. I can out jerk you, be mean to you, and ignore you. It has cost me a job or two because a customer was being mean and obnoxious and didn't like it when I told my boss, in a loud voice, some dillweed want to see you. There also seems to be many parents who won't or can't teach there children common courtesy. How many times are you with
I've never had the problem of being bumped into without a "i'm sorry", trust me if someone even tried that, i'd say something like " excuse me, that is aweful rude to bumpp into someone and not apologize"
The eye contact thing...i haven't had much of a problem with either....force them to look into your eyes by not taking yours out of his...eye contact spells respect to me...and if someone isn't gonna give me respect, i don't waste much time on them
Aye, but Bubs....calling people love seems to be such an English thing! :) Get called that all the time by English people. I remember when I had just moved here, was in Tescos (for all you non-Brits, that's a large supermarket) and needed help finding something...walked up to someone that worked there and said, "Excuse me, ma'am...) I got the dirtiest look, and was told very haughtily that she wasn't the queen, so I should refrain from calling her ma'am!! lol Now, I just say, "Excuse me..." After all, I'm just a dumb Californian blonde, what do I know?!
I'd rather someone call me sweetie or hon than Ma'am,
It may be an age thing AND a geographic location thing. I'm older and don't like a woman OR man calling me sweetie or honey when I don't even know them. That IS a term of endearment and you can't feel that way about someone you don't know. But that's my feelings about it... that's why people in businesses should not do it... there's no way to know who appreciates it and who doesn't.
I'd rather someone call me sweetie or hon than Ma'am,
Ma'am to me is a requirement of the job, so to speak, whereas if someone uses a TOD (term of endearment), that's a choice they've made to be more personable.
And they are far more likely to have me as a repeat customer.
Professional is good in a professional atmosphere, but at the local gas station, corner store, or whatever...
a place you're likely to frequent if it's close by, IMO it's a good thing to be personable.
Well, I can't speak for other areas of the country (or the world for that matter), but here in the south it is just normal speech to call people sweetie. I get called sweetie or honey at least 5 times a day by people I don't know. I think it depends upon where you are from. People here don't think anything about it. I am guilty of calling people sweetie... it is just part of our culture here. I am sorry if I have offended anyone by calling them sweetie.
Theophrastus write: I'll tell you what I hate... I hate when you're in a shop and the guy behind the counter calls you "mate". WTF ever happened to "sir"? I'm not your friend I'm a customer... I'm the guy who pays your paycheque!
I agree... I hate it when a woman or man who is quite obviously younger than me... or older for that matter, calls me sweetie or honey... I'm a CUSTOMER... call me Ma'am! I think common courtesy and common sense has become a thing of the past. Who decided that casual or 'affectionate' names were ok to use for people we don't even know?