IF you are with a partner, and they hardly ever get you to the point of having an orgasm... even after trying to show, and tell them what you need, and like...... Would you stay with this person because you love them, or do you leave for lack of sexual frustration?
you poor thing. you must be frustrated. to answer your question i guess it would depend on how much you love the guy important orgasms are to you. i don't understand your lovers problem. is it difficult for you to orgasm?
maybe you should come visit me. i can make any woman have mind blowing orgasms without even taking my clothes off. i'll make you explode!
That's a difficult call. My ex and I had a rotten sex life. He thought he was great, but it always revolved around him. We would talk about my needs, and for a short time, he would follow through, but then it would all go back to what pleased him. Or he would act like it was a chore to try to get me to that point. Granted, it's not that easy to get me there, but it can be done. That was one of the reasons I left him. In his eyes, there must have been something wrong with me that I could rarely have an orgasm with him.
Have you tried introducing toys into the bedroom? Some men can be intimidated by them, but if he is willing to try, you both might be surprised what toys can do to enhance your sex life. It didn't work for me, but it might for you.
Sorry to go against the grain of the responses so far, but I feel strongly that you need to reevaluate this entire relationship. Love is more than just a warm cuddly feeling; love is as love does. And if he isn't at least as sensitive to your needs as you are to his, then all you really have is a friendship. I say call it what it is, and get on with your life. To heck with all this counseling and trying to act like his deficiencies are your responsibility. If you have to work at it that hard, why bother - especially with a 4-minute man? You'd be much better off spending that energy on someone who deserves you. Just my opinion...
I am glad that you are willing to talk to him about it. It shows your commitment to the relationship. He has to be willing to gtake it like a real man and give you what you want and need without letting his male ego gwet in the way of loving you. Stay strong and be encouraged. Hopefully he is taking it all in and learning you. Heck let him read the posts if he is not a jealous type man and understands that you care about him. Who knows but you are definately headed in the right direction. Hope he follows...
First thing I would ask myself is if sex was the only problem or the last straw ? Not to be vulgar here, but if the guy is insensitive to your needs while in bed, there are all kinds of counselling and help videos out there, if your both open to it. If not theres all kinds of ways you could be having fun with him and without him regardless, and still preserve the monogomy of marriage, but... if this is a big deal to you are there other things going on ? Either way, I wish you lots of good sex and satisfaction, and happiness too.
Join the club. I've been married 26 years the bulk of which have been lacking in satisfying sexual relations due to my wife's ill health. So why do I stay with her? She's also best friend, my partner and my soul mate. So what do I do to fill my need/desire for sex? When I have too, I sneak off to where ever I can. It makes me feel like a dog, it isn't fully satisfying and I know it would tear my wife to bits if she knew. Unfortunately society has no real answer to all those millions of sexually active people (male and female) who are unable to receive the satisfaction they crave from within a relationship. It's probably the real reason so many are on this site, including me.
Not sure how you feel about this, but have you tried being the aggressor in the bed? Have you tried inventing ways to make it more fun and exciting? Try passionate kissing for about a minute and a half without stopping and see where that leads. You'd be suprised at how intense it can get...especially if you love him like you say you do. I would also suggest not discussing past sexual partners on either side. This could only serve to be a detriment...and lead to feelings of inadequacy or comparativeness. Each person is an individual sexual being and should be construed as such. No one is exactly the same in their likes and dislikes. If none of the above works, I'd say you should expand your horizons...unless you are willing to privately settle for a toy to compensate for what you feel is lacking. Good luck and hope this helps some!! ;-)
Thank You all for your advice, and comments. I have already talked to him about this issue. The problem is mainly ... Well there are two problems. I need more foreplay than I get, and we have discussed this. He says he knows, but he can't always do a marathon. The second problem which might actually be the main issue to this , is that he feels I am complaining , and not trying to give him advice. I don't feel sex is the most important aspect to a relationship, but I do feel that if he is satisfied then I should be too. This issue has blown up to the point where we didn't have relations for 3 weeks. We had a talk, and come to find out it isn't that he doesn't want to be with me. It was the fact that he didn't want to be a disappointment to me again.The reason we hadn't been having relations was because as he put it," he is frustrated with the fact he can't get me to reach orgasm." No matter what he did. My answer is the same as always, i can show, and tell you. He says he tries. However, if he does give me more than 4 minutes of foreplay , I have no problems in this area. He refuses any other help as far as toys go. I just feel that if I am going to be involved in the act I want to reep the benefits as well. Otherwise what is the point? I am eager to please him, and i ask the same is all.I need a lil more attention i guess than his ex g/f's. Which he has made perfectly clear. Frankly, I feel sorry for them that it only takes 4 minutes , and the pleasure is over. My ex's had never had a problem in this area.I love him, but feel he lacks in this dept.I also wasn't happy he brought the ex's into this, we have been involved for over 2 yrs now.However that night he listened to me,and YEAH!!!!! next day,*sighs* He is attentive to me, and my needs in anyother aspect of our lives,just not in this area. Don't get me wrong some romance would be nice to,but hey what can you do..... I shall try, and try again. Thanks All.
I would stay. If I loved them then all of the things that I need to be in love and feel love would be there already. The physical part of love is very nice and something that I want and look forward to with the person that I love, but it isn't the most important thing in a relationship. BUT on the other hand, before I can even get physical with someone, I have to know if they like what I like. If they feel that certain things are dirty or something that they won't do, then I would not waste my time pursuing a love relationship and he and I can just be friends. Because of this, I am not with anyone who is not compatible with me when it comes to love making. I know that sometimes reaching climax can be psychological as well as physical. I also know that everyone does not know the techniques that will help their partner reach climax. But I think that as long as the two are willing to make an effort and keep their minds open, they can reach mutual satisfaction.
well you should probally just talk about it with your partner and try to work it out, I dont think you should leave him though. for some women its harder to have an orgasm. its best to try to have an orgasm by your self. you can tell him to touch the cli*toris more b/c that can help get to the point of orgasm much faster.