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ozredhead62
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Veröffentlicht am Sat, Jun 05, 2010 16:50

After many years on internet dating and having talked to lots of men and women I have come accross several that are what I call "online dating junkies" (could be one myself :O) The internet gives people the oportunity to meet many new people, many that you would not meet in normal social situations. Its exciting meeting someone new, where it initialy seems to click and there seems to be lots potenial for something more. It can be quite a rush getting to know them, and them you and meeting up and going out. Now I dont know about the rest of you but I have never been in a situation where I could have 5 or more people that are interested in me prior to going on the internet. All that attention is overwhelming, flattering and quite addictive. How can a one on one relationship and the attention received ever compete with the likes of internet dating? Does it create a situation of wondering if the other person you have been talking to is better than the one you just met? I know 3 men I have now dated that are drawn into this, cant stop the next contact, even though they say that they want a relationship with one woman, they are drawn back to the numerous others that are out there waiting to tell them they are wonderful.


Life is only as wonderful as you think it is.

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ozredhead62
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Veröffentlicht am Thu, Jul 22, 2010 17:10

Quoting one2one

Of course it's possible to get swept away by all the attention, and most people try and put their best foot forward, at least at first. So it's easy to get the impression that the next one to come along is somehow better than the last one ... or maybe it just soothes the ego if the last one didn't work out as well as you thought they might in the first few e-mails. But the thing that I find compelling (and for me it's not an addiction)isn't any of the things you mentioned. I've nearly deleted my profile many times. Then, just when I was about to give up entirely, I often get a message from someone who seems like they would be really worth getting to know, and I'm in it all over again. My biggest problem (in addition to all the scammers, narcissists, the vaguely sociopathic personalities, those that just have lots of sexual issues and others who have only a passing relationships with the truth) is hope. It just keeps rising to the surface. And I can't say that's a bad thing. Even though I'm close to giving up again and wondering now if I shouldn't just blow a hole in that excessively buoyant companion of mine, let it sink, and be done with the whole thing. But I don't ... because I have faith that what I don't hold in my hand in this moment is on it's way to me. And what greater gift could I ever hope to find than love? Sure, I have tons of good reasons why I dislike social networking sites and online dating. Some days I dislike it with a passion that, if it had other outlets and were channeled into other passionate endeavors, would blow your doors off. What reasonably intelligent and sane person wouldn't think, "Uhmmm ... you know online dating doesn't sound all that good. There's lots of potential for that to be, shall we say, problematic at best." And I was someone who wasn't ever going to do online dating. I wanted to meet someone in a nice, organic kind of way. It didn't happen. Not even in the organic produce section at any of the four different (and awesome btw) grocery stores I go to (it's nice living in a major metropolitan area in a foodie part of the country, but I digress). Which led me to think that if I wanted to meet someone (and I do), I might just have to do something, on purpose, to help that happen instead of waiting for fate. And if "they" could just show me where to find other people who want the same thing and think plush, curvy women are hot (because we are) then I'd be willing to put a little effort into the whole thing. Maybe they could gather everyone in one place and let me know where to look ... Awww he11... there I go again.


Lol One2One do like the way you think, thanks for posting :) Hope is a wonderful thing to be able to hold onto, especially after you have had several dissappointments, If you dont believe it can happen, it wont. Agree that you have to do something on purpose towards getting what you want, and the "organic supermarkets" as you say, lol, just dont stock enough variety to make it worth shopping there. Like you I believe that what I am looking for is just around the corner, and a matter of time before I find it. Until then each new person/expierience prepares me and brings me closer to it. Anyway going now to find a new corner to look around. :)


Life is only as wonderful as you think it is.

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ozredhead62
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Gesamte Beiträge: 1011
Veröffentlicht am Tue, Jun 22, 2010 16:42

Quoting naught_bbw

Ahhhh...the ego fuels fires that the heart cannot sustain. Attention is flattering. What girl hasn't felt a slight flush in her cheeks when she knew she turned the eye of a handsome fellow? What man hasn't felt his chest swell when the girl he glanced upon smiled back sweetly? The thrill is there. It's that magical first moment that causes a bit of a high. It's alluring and addictive. But, much like all other addicts, those who are hooked on that honeymoon period are only able to enjoy it fleetingly before searching for the next high. I've known quite a few large or plain women who have discovered the internet and been swept away with the thrill of finally being wanted...and by multiple men. Similarly, I've known quite a few men who have discovered that internet dating sites are the proverbial candy store. They're overwhelmed by all the options and they must try them all. I agree with those who believe that the internet has robbed us of our civility and our manners. The anonymity and the ability to change identities and sites with just a click has caused so many to become rude and disrespectful -- not only in their approaches but also in their interactions. The ability to make someone go away with a "block" or a spam filter has removed the human face and replaced it with a need for self-gratification without regard for others. Chasing the next high (the next new mate, the next honeymoon, the next fresh bed) has become addictive because removing the human face from all those people with whom we interact has allowed men and women alike to forget that in the wake of the relationship (however brief), there is usually a broken heart or a broken person. But, now that we use internet dating and internet sites to chase the thrill, we don't have to be bothered with silly things like other people's feelings or what becomes of them. We can simply move on to the next new mate and get that thrill all over again. I join sites like these to meet people and just socialize. I'm not looking for Mr./Ms. Right here. I'm not looking for true love. I'm not even looking for fake love. It's just not there. However, I do know that if I were to look for a hookup or a pretended romance, the net is swimming with potential minute-men who will make a beeline for the door before the wet spot even dries. So, am I surprised that the addiction to internet "dating" has flourished? No. Do I believe that anyone will ever find "true love" online? Not really. Do I see a correlation between the rise in the number of photos of genitalia and the lack of respect for anything resembbling a "real" relationship? Yep. But then again...I'm just a cynic who likes to shame the devil by telling the truth. ;-)


Lol Naught, you do have a way of stating things, made me laugh. :) Do agree with what you say here and wonder how overall it will shape the way we look at and relate on a personal level. For all the benefits that online dating or social sites have do think that it just may human nature to find ways to abuse it as well.


Life is only as wonderful as you think it is.

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Thunderheart44
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Gesamte Beiträge: 95
Veröffentlicht am Fri, Jun 18, 2010 17:15

I for one am astonished that any of you 3 women have not found someone worth the effort of this emotional maze as these sites have become !Now Oz and one2one I have been reading your blogs and your comments on these blogs for some time and am truly impressed with you both.Even though Oz it can be hard to pin you down as being one certain way because you are a very different kind of woman,and I mean that in the best way !! You just don't think the way other women do,and I for one like that about you !!One2one your comments have shown yourself to be an independent thinker and one who isn't afraid to go against the flow,how can a man not love that !! Naught bbw I have been gone awhile and haven't seen your comments or blogs but after seeing this I must admit I may have to go look and see who you are and how you think. Ladies keep the faith there is truly someone for everyone out there and I truly believe that. The 3 of you are the proverbial real thing and don't forget that !!


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naught_bbw
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Gesamte Beiträge: 63
Veröffentlicht am Sun, Jun 06, 2010 15:58

Ahhhh...the ego fuels fires that the heart cannot sustain. Attention is flattering. What girl hasn't felt a slight flush in her cheeks when she knew she turned the eye of a handsome fellow? What man hasn't felt his chest swell when the girl he glanced upon smiled back sweetly? The thrill is there. It's that magical first moment that causes a bit of a high. It's alluring and addictive. But, much like all other addicts, those who are hooked on that honeymoon period are only able to enjoy it fleetingly before searching for the next high. I've known quite a few large or plain women who have discovered the internet and been swept away with the thrill of finally being wanted...and by multiple men. Similarly, I've known quite a few men who have discovered that internet dating sites are the proverbial candy store. They're overwhelmed by all the options and they must try them all. I agree with those who believe that the internet has robbed us of our civility and our manners. The anonymity and the ability to change identities and sites with just a click has caused so many to become rude and disrespectful -- not only in their approaches but also in their interactions. The ability to make someone go away with a "block" or a spam filter has removed the human face and replaced it with a need for self-gratification without regard for others. Chasing the next high (the next new mate, the next honeymoon, the next fresh bed) has become addictive because removing the human face from all those people with whom we interact has allowed men and women alike to forget that in the wake of the relationship (however brief), there is usually a broken heart or a broken person. But, now that we use internet dating and internet sites to chase the thrill, we don't have to be bothered with silly things like other people's feelings or what becomes of them. We can simply move on to the next new mate and get that thrill all over again. I join sites like these to meet people and just socialize. I'm not looking for Mr./Ms. Right here. I'm not looking for true love. I'm not even looking for fake love. It's just not there. However, I do know that if I were to look for a hookup or a pretended romance, the net is swimming with potential minute-men who will make a beeline for the door before the wet spot even dries. So, am I surprised that the addiction to internet "dating" has flourished? No. Do I believe that anyone will ever find "true love" online? Not really. Do I see a correlation between the rise in the number of photos of genitalia and the lack of respect for anything resembbling a "real" relationship? Yep. But then again...I'm just a cynic who likes to shame the devil by telling the truth. ;-)


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