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ozredhead62
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Veröffentlicht am Tue, Nov 24, 2009 15:33

Hi there all yes its me again with another thought to share and would like your opinions on this one.¿ I was talking to a male friend the other day who is also on internet dating sies.¿ He has had some dates recently and commented that every time he gave a woman a compliment that she would knock it back in some way, tell him how he was wrong or devalue it.

¿

Now my questions is do you do accept complimets or turn around and say something to make it less?¿ Why do we find it so hard to just say "thank you" and accept what has so kindly been given?



Life is only as wonderful as you think it is.

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naught_bbw
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Veröffentlicht am Mon, Jan 25, 2010 18:52

Yes, I diminish compliments or often passively refuse to acknowledge them.  I think that sometimes it's easier to dismiss a compliment than to accept it graciously because it flies in the face of what I "know" to be true.  For instance, if I truly dislike the way my hair looks today, and someone compliments it, I feel that person must be wrong or drawing my attention to what I know is a bad hair day.

I also think that, especially with other women, compliments can be back-handed or catty.  I recall one woman who "complimented" the skirt I was wearing (a polka-dotted skirt I loved) by saying "I love your skirt.  I really like polka dots.  It's just so hard to find them out of season."  But, there's also the ever-popular, "You have such a pretty face..."

I guess men are more genuine when they compliment a woman.  They rarely give back-handed compliments.  But, I gues I've received one too many of those back-handed ones to recognize a genuine compliment.

To answer your second question...yes, women are often their own worst enemies.  We've read too many Cosmo articles, obsessed over too many gray hairs, seen too many BMI charts, and seen too many bulges in the mirror to be our own cheerleaders. At, least that's my story...and I'm sticking to it. ;-)



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ozredhead62
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Veröffentlicht am Tue, Dec 15, 2009 19:41

Thanks for all your comments here and it does appear that most of us dont accept these compliments because of the way we think about ourselves or the lack of trust we have in another? 

 

How sad that thought is.  

 

Are we our own worst enemy?



Life is only as wonderful as you think it is.

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kiss011
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Veröffentlicht am Fri, Dec 11, 2009 15:12

your'e right


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kiss011
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Veröffentlicht am Fri, Dec 11, 2009 15:11

that is how us humans sometimes feel


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butterbll
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Veröffentlicht am Thu, Nov 26, 2009 22:13

Well it has been a while since I gotten a few lately. However when I do, I rarely think there is another motive behind it when I get one from someone . I quess It must be my trusting nature.I tend to take every thing at face value and you( the giver of the compliment ) for you word.


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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Nov 25, 2009 02:50

I had been very guilty of this. Especially if I thought the giver was only throwing me a typical line. Now I make a concious effort to be polite and thankful. It never bothers me to have my work complimented, but it always made me uncomfortable to get personal compliments on my looks. But now I am feeling more confident and I don't feel quite so uncomfortable. I'm actually beginning to like it lol. Great blog topic oz as usual. Smile-azure


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islandgal64
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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Nov 25, 2009 01:19

It's lovely to get a genuine compliment but I agree it can be hard to take them. I try for a gracious "thank you" but often it's hard to resist the urge to make a flippant or witty comment to deflect it! One thing I've found with some folk online is that they don't know when to stop. For example, they might start of with something like "you have lovely eyes" and get a thank you or a positive reaction. Then that just opens the floodgates and they start complimenting you about every tiny thing, eyes, teeth, hair, whatever ... then they lose track and start gushing about things they don't know about you because it's your first conversation, lol! At that point I just want to say "shut the **** up and let's either have a proper conversation or forget it!" Sincerity and moderation could be the key for me - the more you keep on about it the less I might fall for it .... fickle eh?!


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LonelyInFL
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Veröffentlicht am Tue, Nov 24, 2009 23:29

I think it's our human nature that compels us to "knock back" compliments. It all depends on¿ your self-esteem and how you see yourself.

Personally, I don't think I "knock back" compliments per se. It really depends on the compliment...Most times I just say "thank you", but sometimes I'll say "well I don't know about that but you're very sweet for saying so", or "really? Thank you very much."

I think most people find it hard to accept compliments at face value. I don't think it's hard but it is a little awkward sometimes. I do my best to be gracious and accepting so as not to hurt the other person's feelings.

Well, that's my take on it. Good night everyone.

¿

Melissa



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butterbll
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Veröffentlicht am Tue, Nov 24, 2009 19:28

Probially because they have been hurt in the past, so they figure every compliment is ment to "butter them up" so the giver of the compliment can get what (S)he wants.


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