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one2one
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Veröffentlicht am Sun, May 17, 2009 13:29

Here's my question ... when is talk of marriage actually a marriage proposal? Now, I understand that if I happen to mention that I drive a manual transmission because I prefer it and a man says, "Omg. Marry me!" that it's not actually a marriage proposal. My potato salad got the same response once. It's more like saying, "You rock or you're a great woman." It feels fantastic, but there's really no need to call my Mom with the big news. Sometimes the intention isn't as clear. Does "I want to marry you" mean the same thing as "will you marry me" (and I have this ring I hope you'll like)? If it's very early in a relationship could it just mean the other person is serious about having a relationship with you? Is a suggestion of flying to Vegas and just "doing it" a way of testing the waters and seeing how the other person might feel about the idea of someday getting married? Or is it an actual question ...? Have you ever found yourself in the position of having just said something that could sound like an offer of a lifetime together when you're not sure if you really mean quite all of that? Or if you've ever been the one doing the asking, how did you do it?


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ozredhead62
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Veröffentlicht am Sun, May 31, 2009 08:33

An off the cuff comment like "marry me" is just that a comment and I have had this said to me as well as used it. Personally I would like the proposal to be something that is serious and planned ... I am a bit of a romantic at heart. I was once asked if I wanted to marry him when he was drunk, and found is quite alarming that he did not understand why I was insulted by this rather than being complimented. I dont think that I would ask a man to marry me, think that I like the more traditional roles in relationships, but would as True said put the same amount of importance on it as I expect if it was directed to me. I do think that the one asking to go to Vegas and do it would be testing the waters, though if its a new relationship, and you said "yes" then he will probably run. On the other hand if he meant it ... then YOU should run. :)


Life is only as wonderful as you think it is.

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truefriendinme
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Veröffentlicht am Wed, May 20, 2009 12:33

I feel that a marraige proposal is just that: a proposal. If someone were to want to marry me, he would have to ASK me-- not just make a casual comment about running off and getting hitched with Elvis and the Star Trek Crew. I have never proposed to anyone, but I think I would hold the same standards for myself as I do for my male counterparts. I would ask in a manner that left no room for doubt that I was serious. It's supposed to be a lifetime committment, not a last-minute, spur-of-the- moment "oh-by-the-way-I-want-to-marry-you" type of thing. If I ever do decide to get married again, it won't be to someone who takes this committment lightly. Best of luck to all--True


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bluegirl2006
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Veröffentlicht am Mon, May 18, 2009 11:27

"I want to marry you" is not a proposal. It is a statement that at some time in the future there might be a proposal. The Vegas question might be testing the waters. At best it is probably only half serious. I think you are going to have to have a serious discussion in order to determine if you are on the same page. I did the proposing to my fiance and I did it in a serious moment. We were in the middle of a serious discussion and I was emotional (I'm a very emotional person anyway.) It was important to me that there be no question as to my intent or the intent of his response. I set it up by telling him there was something I really wanted to ask him. He told me to ask. I asked him "Will you marry me?" He said "yes". Voila! We are getting married in December.


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