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Can friends become lovers???? Sort by:
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newtaylormade
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Veröffentlicht am Wed, May 30, 2007 22:27

What can I say .. I'm on a roll tonight! We all have people we lovingly refer to as friends. People who will stand by our side through thick and thin. People who will readily offer a shoulder to cry on and sound words of comfort and advice at any time. No strings attached, no matter what. Yet, it's funny how these same qualities present in a friendship, many of us yearn for in a romantic relationship. To be friends and lovers is the ultimate combination. But can the two really become one, and if so, at what point?


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honeybiscuit
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Veröffentlicht am Fri, Jun 01, 2007 11:58

I think the secret to a good life is that you can always change your mind, try again, make a second chance for yourself - the door is usually still wide open and just about always unlocked or with a key under a nearby stone long after we thought. Whether it's about how you behave, what you want to do, whether you want to try harder or less.So with that in mind - the answer is "it depends" and sometimes yes, sometimes no, and what are the circumstances. One of my very very dearest firends is a guy that was a very close friend for years - we then had a moment couple months where we got sexual - and then it started to get complicated and we realized that the friednship we have is much more intimate and vulnerable than either of us were could be at time in our lives with lovers and the sex was starting to mess up our emotional connection which was precious to us both. We parted ways - took a "break" from hanging out etc for about 3 months and have been solid deep close friends again ever since - we;ve been very close for 20 years. But my last lover started as a lover and became a good frined along the way. We have not seen each other for 5 years - I am in ATL he is in SF - but we talk once or twice a month still. And I have no doubt our physical chemistry is still solid - just not right for either of us at this time - or maybe ever again due to circumstances. So I guess I think that anyone who you would want as a lover is going to be someone that you would want as a close friend too - and from there it is all about circumstances.


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SweetCarmelBBBW
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Veröffentlicht am Fri, Jun 01, 2007 10:25

Re: bizzle49 write: if it derives from the workplace, I think it is dangerous ground to tread

Bizz, normally I would agree with you. Never get your honey where you get your money. Because when you fight everyone knows and it is hard to work with someone if you are ticked off at them. But in fact, that is exactly what I did. It was the oddest thing, we started out just as friends and it has developed into what it is today. The one thing we didn't do was change how we interacted at work as our relationship grew. Business is business and your personal relationship cannot interfere with that. Just my .02


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bizzle49
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Veröffentlicht am Thu, May 31, 2007 17:35

if it derives from the workplace, I think it is dangerous ground to tread


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TruGem
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Veröffentlicht am Thu, May 31, 2007 16:59

I think that everyone has been presented with the "lets begin as friends and see where it goes" line. Now sometimes this is legit. You become really great friends and decide that sex would just ruin a perfectly good friendship. Then there are friendships that develop into purely sexual friendships. Then there is the rare occasion you find your best friend and lover. Things are perfectly balanced. Any of these friendships has the potential to turn bad. It also has the potential to be really good even if it is while it lasts. The important thing to remember is the good of all your relationships. There is no timeline for love so don't fight what comes natural. Take a chance whether it is on a lifetime friend or a lifetime mate. Either of those outcomes are all good.


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Thunderheart44
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Veröffentlicht am Thu, May 31, 2007 03:35

It all depends on that romantic spark,not all friends can become lovers as well they shouldn't.Some friendships are better left alone,adding sex to it could ruin a good thing.All in all it can be such a difficult call to take it to another level,give it the spine test,do you feel that tingle down your spine when you touch,if so,take the chance !!


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SweetCarmelBBBW
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Veröffentlicht am Wed, May 30, 2007 23:18

Each case is different. My boyfriend is my best friend. He was before we started dating. At some point you just know when that person is the one. But before you go down that road you have to know if things take an ugly turn, your friendship will probably not survive.


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