When I was here before the blogs were very active...where is everyone? I think it's easier to get to know each other via blogs. I feel like such a stranger here now. Anyone up for some good conversation?
It's been a long time since I've been on the site. I'm sure all the people I once knew are now married but most imporantly I hope they are happy. I'm still looking for that person that compliments me and me him. I look forward to reading the blogs. Have a good day.
First to my friends on this site...sorry I thought I wasn't busy and then BANG...no time for blogging. *sigh*
I've been overweight most of my adult life but yet I'm attracted to skinny to medium built guys that are 6 ft or taller. Is this realistic? I have dated overweight goes too so it's not like I have excluded them. Really I just would like a man that can treat me the way I deserve and will allow me to treat him just as good. But as I said, I'm "attracted" to skinny to medium built tall guys. I'm on the fence about muscular guys...lol they are yummy to look at but I just haven't had good experiences with them.
Please forgive any typos it's 2:30 in the morning....lol It's been awhile but wasn't there a spell check feature or is that just for paying memembers now 8^)
Hey everyone, I just recently returned from a wonderful trip to Arkansas. Yes I said Arkansas. I rode horses, went 4-wheeling and even drove a tactor...lol. I really enjoyed the trip. I went with a friend of mine who has a boyfriend of 4 months. This is the thing. Everytime I turned around she was texting him, sending him pictures or talking to him on the phone. And she would always say something like, "He's not doing well with me gone." I was very supportive but in my head I was going WTF? We were gone all of 5 days and not that long if you think about he stayed with her the night before and saw her the morning of the flight and was there when she returned on the 5th day. I know these things because I calulated the time I can leave my fur kids without having someone stop in to feed and water them...lol.
Anyway, back to my friend. Is it me or is that a bit of overkill? When I travel I don't want to think my man is home whining about how much he misses me and can't stand it because I'm gone for less than 5 days. I want him to be like, "Wow baby you climbed a fence to get on a horse I'm proud of you. When you get home I'll have something else for you to climb." LOL I'm just saying. I don't want him texting me every 5 minutes asking me what I'm doing and can't wait until you get home or worse yet, I wish I was there too.
I guess I'm asking is this why I'm single and my relationships don't last that long. I show my man a lot of attention when we are around each other and I'm rare because I still write hand written letters to my sweetheart (when I have one). I'm known to send "just because" cards even when we live in the same city, who doesn't like to receive a card in the mail. But when I want to go on a pleasure trip, I shouldn't have to worry about you making me feel bad about it. This trip was planned long before she even met him.
I just don't get it. I think she enjoyed the attention but tried to act like it was working her nerves. Then acted like this was the way it's suppose to be done when dating someone. I will admit it's been a while since I've been in a relationship but I'm pretty sure if the guy I dated acted like that it would be a short relationship. So I'm interested in your thoughts on this.
Hey everyone that remembers me. For those that don't I use to be really active on the blogs.
Things have looked up for me. I am now attending a culinary school to get a degree in Baking and Pastry, so I can become a Pastry Chef. My dog treat business is going well...slow but well. I just need to put more money and time into it and I know it will take off. I have a job in a bakery but I know it's temporary and I have to move on to bigger things. Nothing has changed yet on the male front. Not really worried about it because I'm not going to drop my standards and settle for just anyone. He's out there and we will find each other.
So long story short, I'm keeping my head up and doiing so much better than the last time I wrote something. I've written some erotic stories that might get me kicked off of LF but I'll think about seeing if I could post them. Let me know if you are intersted in reading them. Hope to chat with some old friends on here again and even make some new ones.
I know it's been a long time, but I had to pull my life together and stop singing the sad song that I was living. I'm going to write more and fill everyone (that still remembers me) what has been happening in my life. Things are much better now. Talk to you soon.
How do you love someone you have never met? This question came to my mind a few minutes ago while I was typing up a list I call "My Ideal Mate." I have nearly 40 characteristics so far that I believe have some kind of importance in the person that I feel is right for me. As I was reading over the list the smile on my face became bigger and bigger but what surprised me was the familiar warm feeling in my chest and mind. It was love...really I couldn't believe it either. What was really surprising was that when I realized I couldn't roll over and kiss him, letting him know how he made me feel...I became sad. And that's when I asked myself, "How do you love someone you have never met?"
Did you notice the question I didn't ask? I'll give you a minute.
I didn't ask, "Does this person exist?" It was no need for me to ask that question because I know he does. He is out there and if I'm as blessed as I feel, I know I will meet him. And yes I know I will be able to love him. I'm not crazy and I'm not expecting EVERY last thing on my list to fit this person especially since I put in some ranges. (For example Education: High School Graduate to PhD) Some people may think that because I have my BS in Psychology I would only want someone with a degree. Not true, because I know people who I feel are just as intelligent if not more as I am and they have never attended one college class in their life. And you have the idiot currently in office that went to Yale (to be a cheerleader) and we all know he's as dumb as a rock. Sorry didn't mean to offend the rock.
I don't feel strange announcing I love someone I've never met. At one time in my life I would have and no one outside of my journal would have known this, but I don't feel strange at all. I feel proud that if what I wrote down could stir and move me so much that I know if I accept nothing less in a mate for me the feelings would only be greater. Yes I have things in there like height and hair color (you know I love a good redhead), but there are things in there like Political Views, Emotional State, Parenting Skills and Household Responsibilities (50/50) too.
So how do you love someone you have never met before? Easy, you write down everything that you would love about that person and know and BELIEVE he/she exist.
So I was in my favorite thinking place, my shower, and I started to think about Angels. "Free, what would you say if an angel just appeared before you?" As the water rained down on me my mind went to work...hmm what would I say?
My first thought
...oh my goodness if an Archangel came to me I would just stand there with my mouth open like why would you come to me. Just as quickly as that thought popped in my head I corrected it. I'm worthy of any angel popping in for a visit, my grain of sand is just as special and great as anyone else's in this hourglass that we all live in. Once I got pass that I thought again? "Free, what would you say if an angel just appeared before you?"
And just like that it popped in my head.
After the first initial shock and the angel saying those magic words that would instantly let me know, yes this is my guardian angel. I would stand there with my mouth open for a moment and then with a smile on my face and my hand out stretched I would say, "Can I touch your wings?" Without skipping a beat the angels wings would unfold, rising up behind the shoulders and catch the sudden waning sunlight. Just as my slow moving finger tips near the awe inspiring wings? said wing would flap me on my side and the angel would let out the biggest, bellowing laugh I would ever hear in my life. Angels have the greatest sense of humor.
So, that being said...if you believe in angels and one showed up what would be the first thing you would say to him/her. I mean after they prove to you they are an angel.
This is hysterical.....Read the WHOLE thing Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great
gift for the wife... IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT A TASER IS YOU BETTER FIND
A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this.
Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a
100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety. WAY TOO COOL!
Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.
I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button
AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.??
Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave!
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right?! !??
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit
I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong???
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and
taser in another.
The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would reportedly make
your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.? ? All the while I'm
looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A
batteries) thinking to myself, "no possible way!"??
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...
I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it dumbass," reasoning that a one- second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give
myself a one-second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button and...
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!!!
Hey everyone, I thought it was time for an update.
Ok, I'm still job searching but I believe things are going well for me. I joined a gym and lost 7 lbs and 7.5 inches. I lost a lot of muscle after the accident but I'm working hard to get that back. Oh my goodness I don't think I've ever sweat this much before in my life and I live in the South. *sniggle*
I'm also starting an online business. I'll be selling homemade, healthy dog treats. I haven't gotten the web page set up yet but it should be up and running in a week or so. My first two flavors are Apple Of My Eye Treats (Apple & Cinnamon flavor) and Peanut Butter Pop Star (star shaped). I don't know if I'll get in trouble for giving out the name of the business but I'll let everyone know when the website is up and running.
Keep your fingers crossed on the job front and the business one too. Take care everyone.
I'm writing this blog as I take a break from cleaning my small walk-in closet...that I can no longer walk into because of the junk. I can't even blame the accident on the state of the closet; it was bad before the accident and only got worse afterwards. I wish I could say that I have made peace with my wrongful termination but I haven't. And a friend of mine told me that you have to get rid of the bad to get the blessings. I believe the words and the meaning behind it. That's why I'm fighting turning into a pillar of salt like Lott's Wife.
Sometimes I find myself thinking back on those 10 out of 11 good years I had with the company and I miss it so much. And that's were Lott's Wife got into trouble. You have all these happy memories and get stuck in the past. 10 years is greater than the 1 year of hell and the majority of the people were wonderful. (One bad apple doesn't spoil the hold bunch.) Here's were the problem comes in, who's to say God had not plan for Lott's Wife to have riches beyond her wildest dreams. She was so fixed on those happy memories she couldn't move forward to the memories ahead of her. They had to be grand to be saved from what was in the past, right?
I didn't do anything wrong and did not deserve to be terminated. I told the truth, I reported people falsifying information and fixing reports. And yet, I'm the one unemployed and my brain can't wrap around how telling the truth put me in this situation. And that's when it hits me...I AM Lott's wife. Also it hit me where the term being called salty comes from...LOL. I am salty about my situation, but I believe it's only a thin crust on me (I hope). I'm going to move forward, because I know I was taken out of a bad situation and the reason I'm not in a better is no one's fault but mine. My blessings are in front of me, all I have to do is reach out to get them.
...and knowing is half the battle, Go Joe!
-GI Joe Battle Cry
I often times feel that I am placed in my friends life for various reasons to help them, but I have one friend that I know was placed in my life by God to teach and expose me to things that I would never know was around me. I may not always let her know just how important her friendship is to me but she might know after this blog. Let's just call her Lady D from here on out.
I've never been much of a girly girl and until about two years ago I never wore make-up. That's where Lady D comes into the picture. About a year before this infamous make-up incident, Lady D came into my life as a co-worker and quickly became a good friend with "interesting" arts and crafts projects?LOL. Anyway as Lady D was broadening my "creative" horizons I thought maybe I would increase my girliness (ok, it's word in my vocabulary). There was this co-worker that I was very impressed with her make-up skills. And I asked her if she would help me learn how to wear make-up without looking like a clown. To this day I believe way too many black women need lessons on applying make-up successfully, which is why it wasn't until I turned 31 before I thought I would take on the challenge for myself. This co-worker took me to the MAC store in the mall and the make-up guy picked some colors and products and applied them to my face at lunch. According to people at work he did a great job, and I must admit it wasn't all that bad. Lady D must have called and rounded up everyone to come stare at me and I thought I would die. Honestly it just didn't feel like my face especially when I looked in the mirror.
Well for most people the story would end there, but you have to remember that I hadn't worn anything more then the occasional (rarely) brownish, red lipstick in 31 years. So I get home and I know I need to get the make-up off my face...but how. I didn't have any make-up remover and I only used a washcloth and warm water to wash my face daily. I had sense enough to know that water was not going to be enough to get the job done and I didn't want a break out just because I wanted to look cute. *sigh* As I looked around my bathroom sink and under the cabinet I knew I had to get creative. I washed my face and began to towel dry it. That's when I saw it, foundation residue on my towel and I wondered how the hell am I going to get that out my towel. Then I realized how the hell am I going to get this stuff off my face.
At this point I wondered why women wore make-up and how safe is it if you can't get it off your face. I sighed and figured I needed to buy some make-up remover during lunch the next day. Knowing Lady D was the queen of product, I thought I would give her a call, for advice or to save me a trip to the store. This was still early in our friendship so I think Lady D still had some disbelief in my line of thinking, but after this I?m sure she never questioned it again. After some small talk I asked, "What else could I use to get this make-up off?" To which she replied, "Do you have some remover?" she listed some other items to which most I said nope. "...how about some facial cleaner?" I had these Oil of Olay facial cleansing pads but I read the box and it didn't say anything about make-up remover. That's when I heard her sigh on the other end of the line. "How was I supposed to know if the box didn't say anything, now I have to figure out how to get this stuff off my towel?" I think that's when it clicked in her head that I might have attempted to clean my face prior to the phone call.
"NoDrama, did you try to remove the make-up before you called me?" Well, that's when it clicked in my head; I might not have used the best method in my first attempt. So my reply was, "huh?" I did my best to redirect my attention and avoid her questions, but she's good and I had to confess. "Ok, I used the anti-bacterial hand soap to wash this stuff off." I don't think it's a combination of letters to spell out the sound I heard on the other end of the phone. I can't really remember the rest of the conversation but I got my butt chewed out. How was I suppose to know I wasn't suppose to use the anti-bacterial soap, I figured it was safe because it was "anti-bacterial." Come on, who wouldn't have made that mistake?
So knowing is half the battle and now I know. For my 32nd birthday, Lady D gave me some facial products...LOL. Thanks!
What is it about me that is so unappealing I cannot find or keep a man? I don't usually ask this question, but I've been trying to reevaluate my life. I must admit that because I loved my job, a lot of my world revolved around it. I guess that's why it seems everywhere I turn, it's a reminder of what use to be and I'm trying so very hard to live it the present, welcoming the future. But that's getting off subject. Now that the job isn't a big infrequence it seems that I'm more focused on the love life.
It's strange how whether online or in person guys will say, "Oh, I'm just looking for friends," yet if they do not find you attractive, it is no longer a reason to talk to you. A lot of the times it feels that if they (men) don't have a use (whatever it is) for you there is no reason to keep you around. So I guess my question really should be, "What is it about me that guys feel is so useless to them?" Ok, let's take the job thing out of the equation since that's temporary (hell, I've been working since high school nonstop until now). That being said I support myself, any luxury I have I've worked hard to get buy, make or fix it; all with enjoyment and completing my goal in mind. I'm strong and independent but very supportive of everyone around me. If I climbed a mountain I would trail a rope behind me to help those that follow. Is that a weakness?
"You're too good for me." How many times have I heard that? If I was a different person it would go to my head. I use to think...oh that's just BS, but I heard Dr. Phil say one day...if a guy tells you that, believe him, he knows himself better than you do. It makes since to me now, especially since some of those same guys turned around and treated the next girlfriend like crap (or worse). It could be they were doing me a favor by walking away. It still hurts no matter how you cut it. So is the question really, "Why am I picking such low quality guys?"
I know relationships are about more than having someone to dance in a light, summer rain. I know it?s more than that gentle, welcome home hug and kiss. As a good listener I am ready for the challenge. So I'm going to say the real question might be, "Where are the men, the real men that can handle a mature woman that has so much to offer?"
In reading some male blogs, blogs comments and profiles there seems to be a repeated theme of wanting "someone comfortable in their own skin," "confident BBW," and "someone who can take a compliment." And all I want to say to these men is "WAKE UP!" Now I'm not going to tell you that every BBW (Big Beautiful Woman) is proud of her size and walks around with her head up, which would be untrue. But if society was excepting of BBW's and BHM (Big Handsome Men) then there would not be a need for this site. Women that are all shapes and sizes have days when they do not feel so "sexy" and that's ok. It's a little harder for a BBW because even on the days that we believe that we are at our sexiest it only takes one disapproving look or overlook to shatter our spirit.
To give an example, I'm a confident and outspoken person on most days. One day I was at my sexiest, nice fitting clothes, make-up on and hair freshly done...no one couldn't tell me anything. I was walking around flirting left and right and then it happened. My good friend, who is tall, slender and beautiful inside and out, went out with me. And there went any attention I was drawing my way. At first I felt like a little troll standing next to her, but it's only because my friend is such a wonderful person that that I regained my footing. When guys tried to exclude me from conversations or almost stand in front of me to talk to her, she turned her back on them and talked to me directly. Soon only the quality guys were around us and the conversation was great, with everyone involved. And this only happened because of the person my friend is and the person I am. The evening could have gone in a whole different direction, a very painful direction for me at least.
So WAKE UP guys! Just because you claim to be that guy that enjoys a full figured woman it doesn't mean she hasn't heard that before. I've heard my male friends talk about "trying" to be nice to the fat friend so they can get the skinny chick. I held my friend as she tearfully told me the story of a guy she had a crush on tell her he only dates fat girls in the winter time to keep him warm. No one wants someone that is needy all the time, but to think that a woman who most likely has been excluded most of her life due to her size can just be confident and comfortable with her size is unreal. I can only speak for myself, in the beginning of a relationship (friendship) it can be a little nerve racking, but once it settles down that confidence and outspoken nature will appear. And yes it's related to how I'm being treated by the guy, because if he makes me feel uncomfortable he won't see the confidence. And now that I'm more mature the only thing he will see is my backside as I walk away.
Today, I was fired from a job with a company that I was a outstanding employee for 11 years. I was fired due to liars and immature people that stated I made them feel like they were stupid. I know God has good things coming my way and I know they will have to face him one day, but right now it hurts. And the funny thing is I knew it was coming because suddenly they started being nice to me. I spent 2007 in a hostile work environment and suddenly they became nice so I knew they were going to fire me. Darn shame.
For the last 5 days all I've had were a few slices of bread. And my system has quickly kicked that back out. I got sick Thursday night and haven't been under 100.4 temp since. I was scared out of my mind when it reached 102.3 in the middle of the night. I really thought I was going to have to put the AC on to cool down.
Honestly, I really thought about quiting this job, selling my house and moving closer to family just because being this sick and alone scare me. The doctor told me to come in today and hopefully I can get something to break this fever. And then maybe I can sink my teeth into some soup...LOL.
Everyone take care and stay away from folks with runny noses.
So, I met with my HR director today and he informs me that I have 3 options:
Stay and get fired (he stated it was nothing he could do about how they were treating me)
Find another job within the next week or two
Take a Severance Package of 3 months pay with the option of staying in good standing with the company
So I have a week to find a lawyer who is willing to help me negotiate at least 10 months pay which would be a month for each year I was with the company.
When I smile, people tell me to open my eyes
And I laugh, because I am looking right at them
When I smile, my heart skips a beat
And I laugh, because the sensation can be overwhelming
When I smile, my mind drifts to another place
And I laugh, because I remember all that was good past, present and future
When I smile, I want everyone to smile that is around me
And I laugh, because not everyone knows why I am smiling
I felt a need to write this after reading some comments. Dealing with people trying to fire me for not kissing a$$, I like coming to LF an being able to kick back, relax and express my feelings freely. And everyone has a right to do that, but no one has a right to attack another. But if you are willing to attack someone you have to be prepared to be attacked back.
I wish I could say I'm not taking sides but I am. There are some good people having their character attacked and other good people being attacked for standing up for their friends. What I can't stand is every time it starts to die down, someone comes along for what ever reason and brings everything back up.
All I ask is that we put the "friend" back in Large Friends. Stop swinging blindly, we don't know what happened. And stop swinging at people that will support their friends. You wouldn't call someone your friend if they did not stand up for you when you need them...would you?
I hope the people that I call my friends on this site realize this is in support of them as it hurts me to see them attacked. And I hope the people that keeps attacking know that it's past old and that they should let sleeping dogs lie (wink). Let's agree to disagree and walk away.
Hey everyone, I hope you all had a great holiday.
I need some legal or otherwise advice. I'm at my wits end with the job. 10 years at a company and never had to go to HR now I'm in there almost every week or emailing the manager. The VP, Director and Manager are all friends so I have nowhere to turn. All they keep telling me is to find another job, but no one is trying to help me with the Manager and Supervisor that are writing me up for things that they are letting the other 7 members of the dept get away with.
Today, I had to go into the office while everyone else was given the option of a Company paid day off. I showed them where I came across the other members "falsifying" information and I got in trouble for reporting it.
Honestly the only reason they have not fired me is because I broke my ankle on the job and have been battling that for a little over a year. I have never mentioned a lawsuit but every time I go to see the HR Manager he mentions I don't have a case for a lawsuit. At this point I'm starting to wonder if I do have a case.
It has to be a way to stop them from harassing me until I can find another job. HELP!