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wanda_world
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Veröffentlicht am Sun, Oct 08, 2006 16:07

I have been contemplating age differences lately since I have received messages and winks from men who ages have spread from less than half my age to almost twenty years older. I fully understand that age is just a number, and for a friendship or mutually satisfying physical relationship it may not be important, but can two people twenty years apart really relate to each other closely enough to maintain a long term intimate relationship? Has anyone experienced this? Perhaps it may depend on the ages of the people involved and the maturity of those involved. As odd as it may sound, my mind can comprehend a relationship with a man a significant number of years older than I, much more easily than a considerable number of years younger. Perhaps there's a correlation to being a parent and the viewpoint of our society- and feeling like I shouldn't be involved in a relationship with someone close to the age of my children. Anyone have any thoughts on this?


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butterbll
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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Jul 11, 2007 17:13

He to me physcal age is just a number. Emotional Age is the one you need to think about!!!As for me 15 years either way of my age is my rule of thumb. to me any younger than that, just to me feels just a little uncomfortable. older than 15 years past my age that I would be afraid of losing them after a few years , because of health problems. but I feel that the older ladies can be more sexy.Hey what the lose in firmness due to Gravity. the more than make up for in other ways. most know what they want are not afraid to ask for what they want in the bedroom


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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Jul 11, 2007 05:07

For my two cents, I feel age is A number that expresses life experience. NOT a number that indicates days lived. I have to say that I feel age IS a major factor for some. I know that there are some younger men that are more mature and certainly some older men that never matured. Age counts - Life Experience counts too ! Nisi - Florida


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Veröffentlicht am Mon, Nov 20, 2006 09:43

Well, I just got out of a relationship with a guy 20 years younger than me... so I dont know if I am the one to ask.. he got weird on me and after accusing me with sleeping with someone else (which I didnt).. I decided that it wasnt worth the frustration. Am starting to see a guy now through here who is my age.. I will let you know if it makes a difference.


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Veröffentlicht am Sat, Nov 18, 2006 14:36

I had a horrible experience with someone younger than myself. As a matter of preference, I like younger men. I don't know why. But I think it all depends on maturity. You just never know who you're going to click with. I can understand not dating someone close to your children's ages. Makes perfect sense. But sometimes I think we may be missing out on something great with our personal preferences maybe.


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muaaas4u
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Veröffentlicht am Sat, Nov 18, 2006 08:01

Age difference, they say it's just a number and for many things it may be, but even though I have always been attracted to men at least 10 years older, you have to take into account how that person acts and is, regardless of his or her age. I was married to a man that was 7 years older and he never grew up!(one of the main reasons for divorce) Now I am with a man that is 2 years older and we make the perfect connection. Even though he does not fall into my 10 year or older category I find myself very happy regardless of his age. I believe that this is what really counts. If you love someone most problems due to age will seem less, or the love you feel will just make them look smaller.


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jade111
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Veröffentlicht am Sat, Nov 18, 2006 01:13

IM ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE THAT THINK AGE DOES NOT MATTER.. I WAS MARRIED THREE TIME TO MEN 21 YEARS YOUNGER THAN I AM AND THEY WERE ALL WONDERFUL TO ME. I WAS TREATED LIKE A QUEEN BY ALL THREE, NO, IM NOT RICH BY ANY MEANS, THEY SUPPORTED ME. WORSHIPPED ME,PUT ME ON A PEDASTAL, BUT IM THE ONE WHO MESSED UP THESE RELATIONS...I WISH I HAD IT ALL TO DO OVER AGAIN...LIKE I SAID THESE MEN,HUSBANDS IN FACT WERE LIKE GOD HAD SENT ME ANGELS...THEY WERE NOT NERDS BY ANY MEANS, MOST OF MY GIRLFRIENDS MY AGE AND YOUNGER COULDNT BELIEVE HOW LUCKY I WAS..GOD WAS VERY GOOD TO ME SENDING THREE OF THE MOST WONDERFUL MEN IN THE WORLD...NOW IM 66 AND CANT REALLY RELATE TO SOMEONE MY AGE OR OLDER...I LIKE YOUNGER MEN BECAUSE THATS WHAT IM USED TOO... I GUESS I CONTRADICTED MY SELF EARLIER SAYING AGE DOESNT MATTER BUT FOR ME IT DOES... SENT ME SOMEONE YOUNG.....! THANKS FOR LISTENING TO MY OPINION...


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kissyroo06
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Veröffentlicht am Fri, Nov 03, 2006 17:02

I would like to say that i date guys my age but I don't. Not exactly a preference but it just turns out that way. In fact i have not had a guy wink me in 5 years of my age range. I don't know...not even in highschool did I date someone my age... I have never thought of it to be akward or weird but I do draw a line...sometimes people winking in there 50's I say sorry "no go". Not that they are 'old and creepy' but just because that is TOO big of a age differance. KISSY


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wanda_world
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Veröffentlicht am Fri, Nov 03, 2006 11:55

Thanks to all of you for your comments! Stu, I appreciate you clarifying that when you stated you believe that the age of the parties involved should not be a consideration in a relationship as it is a form of bigotry, that you are not advocating adult/child relationships. Whether we choose to or not, social norms do affect our mores; a violation of mores is considered a threat to our society and therefore not acceptable. As you noted, in some indigenous cultures adult/child relationships are sanctioned; in some cultures the practice of female genital cutting is, in others the practice of polygyny or polylandry is. The way I see it is,like it or not, our mores are affected by social norms. I concur that we should make our individual decisions based on the circumstances. I also agree to an extent that whether our friends or family approve or not should not be a main priority; however sometimes others can see from a perspective we can't. In the event that they saw me in a detrimental relationship,I would hope and expect that they would politely point out to me their perspective, and allow me to choose for myself to make a decision to stay in the relationship or not, and support whatever conclusion I made. I am a big advocator for thinking outside the box rather than people being sheeples. Sometimes it is difficult for us to do, but as the world continues to becomes a much smaller place to live in and we have greater contact with others with various cultural beliefs and morals, the need for acceptance of others explicit and implicit beliefs,faiths, morals and feelings is increasing. I see compassion and unselfish benevolent concern for the good of one another as vitally necessary as the human race continues to grow and evolve.


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AmuseMe
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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Nov 01, 2006 11:19

Stuart. I think that when kindest, dearest Wanda said: "Perhaps there's a correlation to being a parent and the viewpoint of our society- and feeling like I shouldn't be involved in a relationship with someone close to the age of my children." - she was referring to her ADULT children. LOL


In your rocking-chair, by your window dreaming, shall you long, alone. In your rocking-chair, by your window, shall you dream such happiness as you may never feel. –Theodore Dreiser

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midnightsinger
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Veröffentlicht am Mon, Oct 30, 2006 15:40

REPLY TO WANDA You are right... Societal norms, ethics and morals most definitely play a part in many peoples equations. As do legal aspects for many. While I hope people have their own internal ethics and morals to which they live their lives, it concerns me that Societal Norms should play a part. Remember, it is these same societal norms that define that a fuller figured person is "fat" or "Unacceptable" while "Thin is in", it is also societal norms that control the mass mentality of some things that I personally find deplorable. I do not personally believe in adult/child as that does not fit within my ethic and morals, but can?t speak for those to who that fits. Some Indigenous cultures not only support adult/child relationships but in fact enforce them as a coming of age. I think the main thing that I would want in anyone's decision is that they make it based on their wants on needs in the circumstances. That means if they would like a fulfilling relationship with someone younger or older then themselves, then that be the focus of the matter, not whether their friends will like it or not... and as Mother used to say... "if they don?t accept it, they are not you're friends" In this, if the adult is intrigued by a child, then they need to weigh up whether prison is an highly likely option that they want in their future, and they also need to know that child sex offenders in prison are the most despised type of vermin. So In short... With this I say, As I do for everything in life... The Choice is YOURS and YOURS alone, you have to do what is right by you... so at least THINK ABOUT IT, rather then just following the SHEEP MENTALITY because we are too lazy to think for ourselves. Warm Regards Stuart


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wanda_world
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Veröffentlicht am Sun, Oct 29, 2006 01:35

While I agree with most of what you say Stuart,societal norms, morals and ethics come into play in the equation as well in my book. I can't rationalize an adult/child relationship and I hope you are referring to adults?" Where does one draw the line as to an age? Or do you see that as bigotry? I have seen men attempt to justify marrying child brides..


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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Oct 25, 2006 18:36

I must say that age shouldn't have any issue... if you connect with a person why does it matter... I have very close freidns who are as much as 30 years older then me... we talk about life and our experiences and it doesn't matter if we agree or not, we enjoy the company. A relationship with someone older or younger should be the same... If you get on.. you get on... but letting age be a barrier is just another type of bigotry... Be you and let them be them... take the time to get to know anyone... you may be surprised.


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DeeDee17146
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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Oct 25, 2006 17:55

I have gone 15 yrs older and 13 yrs younger. I too, won't date anyone that's closer to my oldest son's age than mine...that would just be creepy! As for older, I really don't have a cut-off point..but my mom is 79, so I guess it would be the same...I don't want to date anyone that's closer to her age than mine...lol


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pathseeker
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Veröffentlicht am Fri, Oct 20, 2006 11:44

Its about personal choice for me its 10 years or - 5 used to be 10 either way til I got my heart broken by someone who is 10 years younger than I so will never go that low again, too immature. But its what works for you and the other person.


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bizzle49
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Veröffentlicht am Thu, Oct 19, 2006 11:25

probably it depends on what you personally are comfortable with, Iknow that Mary Kate and Ashley will be heartbroken that I won't send them mash notes as will Liz Taylor be...I haven't found anything in the manly man manual saying to date women only between x and y years of age...and dagnabbit smurfette....shame on ya for putting me on your geezer list LOL *sighs*


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AmuseMe
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Veröffentlicht am Thu, Oct 19, 2006 10:25

My aunt and uncle have been married for a little over 20 years and there is a 22 year gap between them. Auntie is younger, was in fact 20 years old when she met my then 42 year old (previously married three times) uncle. They had a common mentality, chemistry and found in each other what anyone who falls in love finds. Married to this day and they have had a happy, normal life together. What does the future hold for any 75 year old? Any relationship is a gamble. The best bet is to find someone whom you are compatible with, someone you can develop a loving friendship with ... age, like color or creed or size, then becomes irrelevant. ~J


In your rocking-chair, by your window dreaming, shall you long, alone. In your rocking-chair, by your window, shall you dream such happiness as you may never feel. –Theodore Dreiser

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Txgeekette
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Veröffentlicht am Tue, Oct 17, 2006 01:27

Online I seem to get a lot more interest from guys younger than me (sometimes by 20 years or more) than guys who are older than me. As I get older I wonder if there are just fewer guys alive who are older than me. :)


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sassysmurfette
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Veröffentlicht am Mon, Oct 16, 2006 07:25

Wanda......I have no clue! LOL I've long prefered younger men and will totally cop to the fact that I have issues with older men/father figures (no thanks--and I mean no offense it's just my personal preference so no hate mail please), however at 37 I'm not sure I could date someone in their early 20's even knowing what I want and that I'm not looking for forever or a ring on my finger.


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wanda_world
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Veröffentlicht am Sun, Oct 15, 2006 22:38

Smoosh-you addressed one of my concerns-that the older people got,the more evident the age difference may become. While we can't predict the future,or how long any of will live, or how long a relationship will last, surely I wouldn't want to be 75, my partner 55, and have them turn around and say to me-well, you have just gotten too old now so I am going to move on. That to me would be a time in my life that I would really want the companionship of someone whom confessed to love and cherish me, and not a time when I would want to be alone and feeling abandoned. I guess it depends too if one is talking about dating, a short term relationship or a long term one too.


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