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SoundGuy
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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Jan 09, 2008 22:15

Okay, as I'm on a bbw site, perhaps I can speak candidly ... I sincerely hope that I don't offend anyone. I find some larger women very beautiful, very attractive and sexy; and there is a two-sided problem with this. The first problem is with me: Society does not accept or understand my version of beauty, and it's complicated. I don't find women beautiful BECAUSE they are larger, there are certain features that attract me. But the bottom line is this: I'm on my own, I can't share the feeling. It's not a big problem, I'm accustomed to it. But I feel it every time I see someone beautiful. It's rather isolating. I wish I could say "wow, look at her! Stunning!" ... But I know full well that most would not understand. I'm on my own. The other problem runs much deeper. The fact is, every time I see a bigger girl who I find very beautiful, she is typically dissatisfied with herself. Quite understandably, she wishes she were thin. She blames herself, she resents the stigma etc. ... and she doesn't believe me (or anyone else) that she is beautiful. This is the great tragedy: the self-loathing of beautiful people. It hurts me to see, and I'm powerless to change it. The reality is this: We are all beautiful, we are all worthy. We all deserve to be happy but we can only give ourselves permission to be happy, regardless of the tastes of the majority. To all the beautiful people in the world, I beg you to please choose happiness. Cherish yourself. I am happy with my personal disposition, confident that my personal tastes in beauty are my reality ... and I'd love to share it. But I'll only do that with people who appreciate that I am sincere, and who sincerely appreciate themselves.


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SoundGuy
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Veröffentlicht am Fri, Feb 01, 2008 18:18

It's a "saying" ... I didn't say it, I'm merely repeating it. However, I 'm puzzled. You disagree with the saying, then your explanation of your belief describes EXACTLY what the "saying" means, as far as I can tell (that lack of self-acceptance makes people unattractive). It leaves me with the impression that you want to disagree with me, that it's personal. That's okay. But it feels odd to me. I meant no harm to you or anyone else.


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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Jan 30, 2008 14:53

Quoting SoundGuy: I think we all have insecurities about ourselves, and this isn't limited to appearance. There is a saying: "We are all fat and beautiful ... what makes us ugly is our desire to be thin"

Hi soundguy, I don't agree with you, I think our "ugly" is non acceptance or ourselfs as we are. Now I hear you saying that that equates to what you said about wanting to be thin. It's not the same, in my humble opinion. Not accepting our body, as is, as our genes dictate if not wanting to be thin. It's not learning to be who you are as dictated by your environment,heredity and life. Learning to accept our bodies, our minds and our fate is what makes ugly ugly. Just my 2.5 cents worth Natalie


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pumkinspice2000
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Veröffentlicht am Tue, Jan 29, 2008 21:24

Well, I am a full figured gal & I can say that dating is hard; no matter what you look like. I am sure everyone can agree that at some point in their life they have felt this: You like someone who doesn't like you back--maybe you're too small, too big, nose too long...whatever...but we all have been there. We like what we like, no matter what that may be & its hard to find what we like & even harder to find something that we like to like us back in the same way & that is the same for anyone, any size, color & so on. I am honest & upfront when guys try to chat with me. I tell them I am fuller figured?normally I don?t hear back from them?but I won?t deceive people. I am sure deep down they are happy that at least I was upfront. There are a lot of guys/gals who aren?t & you think you are meeting a person that is appealing due to the way they described themselves & then when you meet it?s like seeing a cave man or something?yuck! I am sure we have all been there?and it makes it harder for the honest person to find decent people because of deceivers (or people in denial about their appearance). Bottom line is beauty is in the eye of the beholder?its just hard finding the beholder.

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SoundGuy
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Veröffentlicht am Tue, Jan 29, 2008 21:05

I think we all have insecurities about ourselves, and this isn't limited to appearance. There is a saying: "We are all fat and beautiful ... what makes us ugly is our desire to be thin"


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butterbll
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Veröffentlicht am Sat, Jan 26, 2008 21:02

Societal standards change like the winds, some of the Famous pin upgirls of the 40's like Betty Grable,Maye West would be considered Fat and unattractive by todays standards. As for Me the Twiggy Models(size 00 80 pounds dripping wet) of today need to get real.so thin they look like walking skeletons.Like Clara Peller used to say:"Where is the Beef?"


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Veröffentlicht am Sat, Jan 26, 2008 05:05

Quoting Dirkdig: It is a well known fact that the most beautiful women are also the most insecure.

All of them?! Where does this "well known fact" come from? I daresay it's true of some of the most beautifuil women, but it's quite a generalisation don't you think?


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butterbll
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Veröffentlicht am Fri, Jan 25, 2008 22:07

Hey you forgot several other larger sized women who are Hot!! Dawn French, Catherine Manhiem, and Cathy Bates are three who come to mind.


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Veröffentlicht am Fri, Jan 25, 2008 05:12

Quoting Dirkdig: It is a well known fact that the most beautiful women are also the most insecure.

Dirkdig, I agree with you and that has nothing to do with size. A pretty face, sometimes, causes men to not even try to approach that woman. They think that she would be inundated with dates or would reject him. Phewy. Talk to that lady, email her. Nisi


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Suzieq22
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Veröffentlicht am Thu, Jan 24, 2008 22:41

Good examples Nisi. I think Queen Latifah is one of the most beautiful women in the world. and I'm sad to hear her advertising for Jenny Craig now. Does anyone read Figure Magazine? I may have asked before . Those women are breathtaking. I always say why would a man prefer to go to bed with a bicycle when he could have a warm cuddly teddy bearto snuggle with.


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LonelyInFL
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Veröffentlicht am Sat, Jan 19, 2008 20:21

I have one word for everyone... PHAT Pretty Hot And Thick Like everyone here I've run the gambit of emotions regarding myself. My advice would be to watch the movie PHAT Girls. Yes, it's just a movie but the message is awesome and guys could actually gain some insight into the workings of a woman's mind. Now, I'm not saying that all Phat women are like this but the message of the movie is really good. I have eccentric tastes but this movie is worth the time to watch it. Melissa


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SoundGuy
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Veröffentlicht am Fri, Jan 18, 2008 16:08

I welcome your comments. It seems I've inspired some and put-off others. I intended only to inspire.


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butterdragon
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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Jan 16, 2008 21:48

Thin may be in but fats where it's at! At least that's what a friend use to tell me.We are taught by society if your not a size 5 that there is something wrong with us.It's not the size of the person that counts,but the size of their heart.


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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Jan 16, 2008 08:08

Beautifuly put, soundguy. I think most women have body issues, though - even those who already fit society's view of beauty.


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truefriendinme
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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Jan 16, 2008 02:09

I didn't see where Soundguy said he was ashamed to view larger women as beautiful. I only saw that he felt he can't "share" that feeling. Which I took to mean that he feels he is in the minority. It's a common feeling, right girls? Soundguy: You were forthright and eloquent in your blog, and I thought it to be quite refreshing. I don't think all larger women would expect you to take up the flag and march for the cause, just be supportive-- which is exactly what you've done here. My personal opinion? "You had me at hello..." Good luck!


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thunderstormsdb
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Veröffentlicht am Sun, Jan 13, 2008 19:37

sounds like you are a hero or at the very least have uplifted spirits here that is very commendable. Thanks for beig honest and being real


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lusciouslubelle
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Veröffentlicht am Sun, Jan 13, 2008 12:28

I agree with all your comments. It is unfortunate that most of society does not accept large people but i have seen some positve changes but still not enough. As a teenager, i felt alot of pressure to be thin. But now i am a confident woman although it took me a while to get to this point in my life. I wish i could have been this self-assured many years ago. We are all beautiful worthy people and yes, it is true 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder'. Stand proud for what you believe in.


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bluegirl2006
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Veröffentlicht am Sun, Jan 13, 2008 06:46

Re: CybaFunGalUK write: Jeez there are few enough guys bother to get involved in the blogs as it is. No wonder when you all start man bashing as soon as they pop their head above the parapet!

There was no "man bashing" intended here. Perhaps you need to read the comments again?


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bluegirl2006
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Veröffentlicht am Sun, Jan 13, 2008 06:44

Re: SoundGuy write: I think you misunderstand me, Bluegirl. I didn't intend to suggest that I can't speak of my attraction or that I'm afraid of societal pressures. I have expressed my feelings and the vast majority of my male friends feel differently on the subject. There have been a few who see things the way that I do and it's very refreshing. We are social creatures, and we prefer it when others share our tastes. That is all I meant.

Perhaps I did misunderstand. If that is the case, I apologize. But whether or not your friends have the same measure of beauty that you do shouldn't mean a damn thing and shouldn't curtail your speaking up[. As a man I would think that would be good for you because you wouldn't be in competition with your friends for a lady's affection. What might go a long way in impressing a beautiful bbw would be to say, within her hearing range to someone in the nearby vicinity be it friend, family member, or stranger, in a sincere tone (this is the key)"Wow! She is beautiful and I'd love to get to know her!". Then introduce yourself. I know it would impress me.


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SoundGuy
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Veröffentlicht am Fri, Jan 11, 2008 23:43

I think you misunderstand me, Bluegirl. I didn't intend to suggest that I can't speak of my attraction or that I'm afraid of societal pressures. I have expressed my feelings and the vast majority of my male friends feel differently on the subject. There have been a few who see things the way that I do and it's very refreshing. We are social creatures, and we prefer it when others share our tastes. That is all I meant.


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