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Ponine
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Gesamte Beiträge: 5
Veröffentlicht am Sun, May 07, 2006 03:17

So, I've been pretty 'skinny' in my day. At five nine and a size eleven, I looked pretty ok, and I got a lot of attention from guys. Which, by all means, was nice, most of the time. As I slowly gained weight however, the attention waned. Now, I'm not terribly uncomfortable in my own skin, but I feel that I should lose some weight -- I'm over thirty, and I'd like to keep my knees and hips ans heart for another decade or five. Even more importantly, I want to be able to fly long distances without having my ass looking cubic by the time I get off the plane. I want to be able to go into any store and fit at least something in there besides a scarf. So -- the million dollar question is -- why don't I? Why do I whine about it? For years on end, without losing more than -- ten pounds here and there? That's what I'm trying to figure out. I remember a guy friend of my, in high school -- and bless his heart, I KNOW he meant nothing by it, he was and is a wonderful person -- but he stated in all sincerity, that if I was to lose a few pounds, all the guys in school would drool over me. Yeah. Thanks. I think. I have this notion in my head now that I don't ever want a man who wouldn't want to be with me now, but who would love me if I dropped five or ten sizes. Two major issues with that though. The first one being that a) How the hell will I know and b) Who am I to judge that way, when I myself, for instance, would never consider dating someone significantly shorter than me? After all, that's pretty darned superficial, too? Not to mention the dubious prospect of staying a size I'm not entirely comfortable with simply because I'm pissy with the world for possibly not accepting me the way I am... And yes, I might as well admit to the fact that the guy I have feelings for pointed out to me yesterdays that we are just having a good time and that we both know it's not going anywhere. Yeah. NOW we both know. Sigh. I am sorry for ranting and raving. Certainly not my original intention when signing up here, but I suppose, if I can't really figure out how to actually talk to anybody here, I might as well talk to myself. Have a splendid morning, world...


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1Newguy
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Gesamte Beiträge: 3
Veröffentlicht am Wed, May 15, 2013 21:15

Boomerang...and...I'm back, and you're "MIA" lol seems to be the way :)

I hope things are great with you.



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Veröffentlicht am Sat, Aug 04, 2007 12:05

MrGW, you said this very well, I hope everyone reads your words and takes them to heart. Thank you Natalie32132 MrGW write: Maybe I'm misunderstanding you women, but I don't think ALL men use a womans appearance/weight as a desciding factor when thinking about them. I certainly don't; isn't it much better to see a womans heart, kindness, intellect, and humanity than just her physical looks? A larger woman is usually much more visually stimulating than a skinny one. It also occurs to me that maybe a guy telling you that you need to change to suit him is really indicating his own insincerity/disinterest/desire to be "persued" or any of many other undeseriable traits. Possibly he might be a bad choice because the relationship is going to be one where his desires and needs are going to need to come first. Shouldn't a relationship between two people be one of equality instead of constantly tilting in his direction? Another thing, if he wants you to change this much, maybe he's not all that happy with himself. If that's true then how are you ever going to be totally happy with him?


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1Newguy
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Gesamte Beiträge: 3
Veröffentlicht am Fri, Aug 03, 2007 18:00

1newguy is back. I did read your response I know it's been a long time ,but I was with someone and for me when I am in the step beyond dating my focus was with her. I thought I had found the one. Unfortunately that was not the case. Very nice person just not for me. How are you doing? Things better for you?


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kissyroo06
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Gesamte Beiträge: 49
Veröffentlicht am Sat, Jul 29, 2006 18:25

I felt the same way. I was never skinny though. My whole life I have been larger, even as a child. Quite frankly middle school and high school! As I get older now I have to learn to look past it, after trying countless diets to no avail. So basically I go for walks and eat 'right' to stay fit. (Keep in mind I did not say physically fit!) All that matters is I know I am healthy, and if that means not being skinny SO BE IT! After all a jean size is just a number. Stay encouraged, you are amoung friends.


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Ponine
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Gesamte Beiträge: 5
Veröffentlicht am Thu, Jul 27, 2006 20:33

Are you still around, 1NewGuy? I have been pretty much MIA for a while, and I never saw your writing here... I would love to hear from you. Sigh. It figures if you are the one MIA now... *smiles* Thanks for your words and reply, hope you see this. Hugs


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Laura_Ocean
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Gesamte Beiträge: 2
Veröffentlicht am Sat, May 13, 2006 17:36

The one good thing about this site is that you can often find a lot of nice friends here. Finding someone to love may take a bit more, but never put yourself down because of it. If someone gives you a hard time because of your size, it is THEM that has the problem, not you! You see, usually people who put others down have a problem with their own self esteem, and only feel good if they are insulting another person. People who like themselves don't need to make someone else feel badly. I've been hurt, too as have many of the other folks here. Still, we all just think it is THEIR problem and keep going. You are a special person worth more inside than whatever some scale says. Your personality is sweet and you worry about how you look and feel and aren't quick to put down the guy who made the comment. That shows that you do have a great inner self, you just haven't figured out how to deal with it yet. You will. Just remember that there is only ONE of you and the world is a better place because you are in it! Have a wonderful day! Laura


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Veröffentlicht am Sat, May 13, 2006 07:33

Maybe I'm misunderstanding you women, but I don't think ALL men use a womans appearance/weight as a desciding factor when thinking about them. I certainly don't; isn't it much better to see a womans heart, kindness, intellect, and humanity than just her physical looks? A larger woman is usually much more visually stimulating than a skinny one. It also occurs to me that maybe a guy telling you that you need to change to suit him is really indicating his own insincerity/disinterest/desire to be "persued" or any of many other undeseriable traits. Possibly he might be a bad choice because the relationship is going to be one where his desires and needs are going to need to come first. Shouldn't a relationship between two people be one of equality instead of constantly tilting in his direction? Another thing, if he wants you to change this much, maybe he's not all that happy with himself. If that's true then how are you ever going to be totally happy with him?


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1Newguy
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Gesamte Beiträge: 3
Veröffentlicht am Sat, May 13, 2006 06:41

I love your honesty and really some of what you said has been the same for me. My weight snuck up on me, my friends noticed but never said anything then all of a sudden things just didn't fit.'Oh well I'll move up a size ,can't be a 28" waist forever right? Then another then another before I knew it,well enough said. You are not alone in this that's for sure. The challenge now , that I'm taking on this week is to eat a little better and less, I do workout at the gym, and love doing it, but when I consume the same crap I just don't lose.I did want to thank you for your wink, and it's too bad we have a bit of distance between us, you seem like someone I would most certainly date.Mostly because you attitude and how you come across on your profile and here, not bad on the eyes either!!!lol You could have been my 'IT' Girl!! Drop by and say hi. Cheers. J

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Ponine
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Gesamte Beiträge: 5
Veröffentlicht am Mon, May 08, 2006 16:49

Thank you for your kind words :) As far as the boy is concerned -- I set myself up -- I don't blame him, because I knew what I wsa getting myself into... It just seemed as though he was developing feelings, too. But alas. Probably best, anyways -- very different interests, and quite a bit younger (which was fun, but also a hassle) I want/need/would like a MAN. A nice, well-educated, manly man, who is settled, secure, comfortable in his own skin, with a good sense of humor, and has lived a little and learnt from it. An easy-going guy who likes to have fun, whether it's traveling, chilling outside with something cold to drink and a steak on the grill, curling up and watching a good movie, or just frolicking (I know) on the bed laughing and talking about nothing. I don't care much about a person's past as long as you have moved on. I mean -- trauma and drama and life lessons don't mean a thing unless you actually learn and grow from them... Thanks again :)


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novelest
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Veröffentlicht am Mon, May 08, 2006 07:32

"My biggest conundrum" It took me a long time to find a conundrum big enough to fit, too.


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Veröffentlicht am Mon, May 08, 2006 07:27

Ouch...I'm so sorry. I have no advise to give on that one. I know it hurts like heck. I'm growing more comfortable in my skin but that doesn't mean I don't jump on the scale to see where my weight is going. It also doesn't mean I've given up on the diet. The guy I'm seeing now likes big women. I'm not sure he'd stay if I loose a lot. I care about him though and it's a chance I'm willing to take. I have certain things I want for myself and one of those things is to drop about four sizes. I felt better when I wasn't this big and was able to do more. So vent rant and cry all you want this is a very supportive comminity. Good luck.


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