It's been awhile since I visited and posted a blog ... I think today is a good day to start blogging and asking questions!
This might seem like a silly question and at first glance it may actual seem to have an obvious answer. But take a moment to really think about it ... "How do you love?"
Everyone talks about it and almost everyone has different ideas about it. What I do know is that you have to love yourself before you can love another person ... you have to realize that you are worthy of being loved, respected and admired. And you alone are responsible for how you love and how you accept or don't accept love. Love and sex are often confused ... can you have one without the other? Yes! Can you only have one with the other? Yes! Again, more confusion!
So .. How do you love? Do you love without asking anything in return? Do you love only on the pretense that you get your own way? Do you love only some of the time? Is there such a thing as "love at first sight or is it really just a strong physical attraction? Are you too old for love? Does love really make the world go around?
Love is communication. Love is not always doing just what one person in the relationship wants. Love is about trust, not about jealousy. You can live very well without the special love of another person. Love does change and it is possible that the person you love so much today will not be the person that you love for the rest of your life. Any scientist will tell you that love does not make the world go around and most scientists will gladly explain about gravity etc. But remember at the same time there may be moments when you know that scientist's are wrong!
I've been told recently that love is not painful, it feels incredible. The pain and hurt we feel doesn't come from love, it comes from our doubts, fears, anxiety, perceived rejections, broken trusts, anger, jealousy, envy, etc.
So why do we as a culture lump all those other feelings in with love?
Figuring out what men really desire is never easy, since like women, men come in different variations.
Regardless of what category a man falls in, there are basic standards that every man is looking for in a woman. Women all want to be an object of desire- the kind that men talk about, dream about and long to be with. We all want to be chased and admired by the opposite sex and at the same time to be appreciated, respected and admired for our existence, appearance, personality and accomplishments.
So what if today's women are more independent and career oriented, does not mean that we or for that matter men should forget our feminine roots. Women are delicate creatures after all- we can be and are sweet and giving and it is important for a man to see these qualities in a woman - but do they?
We all have people we lovingly refer to as friends. People who will stand by our side through thick and thin. People who will readily offer a shoulder to cry on and sound words of comfort and advice at any time. No strings attached, no matter what.
Yet, it's funny how these same qualities present in a friendship, many of us yearn for in a romantic relationship. To be friends and lovers is the ultimate combination.
But can the two really become one, and if so, at what point?
How many times have you seen a picture and only checked out the pictures? Have you taken the time to read out the person?
Granted many do not answer truthfully, but for those of us who do, much of what we have said is a reflection on who we are and what we enjoy. So tell me, do you respond to a picture or to the words that you read in the persons profile?