It seems like I've been at it for years now...searching for someone who is actually interested not only in me for me but in a real relationship. Why is it that dating sites and clubs only make you feel like you aren't good enough for others to really want to get to know you not just get in your pants as fast as physically possible? I do not get it and it's emotionally exhausting.

Call me a dreamer but I feel like it shouldn't be this hard to find someone who sees the value and worth in you and wants to be there. Someone who enjoys your smiles, your laughs, the little things that make you you. Someone who geniunely doesn't want to spend the rest of their life jumping from bed to bed and half the time thinking up excuses to cut and run.

I joined this site because I thought maybe if I start with a group of people that are all shapely like myself there is less judgement and more acceptance that it would give me a chance of finding that person. So here is to hoping ... to finding a guy who is true and geniunely interested in me as a person.

It seems like I've been at it for years now...searching for someone who is actually interested not only in me for me but in a real relationship. Why is it that dating sites and clubs only make you feel like you aren't good enough for others to really want to get to know you not just get in your pants as fast as physically possible? I do not get it and it's emotionally exhausting.

Call me a dreamer but I feel like it shouldn't be this hard to find someone who sees the value and worth in you and wants to be there. Someone who enjoys your smiles, your laughs, the little things that make you you. Someone who geniunely doesn't want to spend the rest of their life jumping from bed to bed and half the time thinking up excuses to cut and run.

I joined this site because I thought maybe if I start with a group of people that are all shapely like myself there is less judgement and more acceptance that it would give me a chance of finding that person. So here is to hoping ... to finding a guy who is true and geniunely interested in me as a person.

Hi, I truly understand what you are saying. I mentioned something like this in another post:

I am relatively green to online dating, but I think there is a way that you can filter out some of these negative people.

If you email someone, better yet CALL them, and you ask them deep questions, not small talk, but thoughtful questions about what is personal to them, about their future, about life, and they stumble and become incoherent and defensive, they are fakers. They will ask you why you are asking or keep asking you what YOU are looking for (meaning they are not telling what THEY are looking for).

A person that has mental health and maturity will tell you their hopes, dreams, will talk about intimacy and true companionship, etc. THE MOMENT YOU ASK THEM. 

This happened to me recently. I called and this person showed their colors within 20 minutes of a general conversation. I wrote them the pink slip within one hour and blocked their emails. 

Some men and women have become very narcissistic and self-centered. These people are what bring mistrust and enmity between the genders, but these negative people are easy to identify.

So basically, don't just start cupcaking with them, so YOU can make a good impression on THEM, force THEM fill out YOUR application, so to speak. 

I person of high standards will have no problem showing you that they meet YOUR standards and earning your trust, that is if they are serious about a relationship.

Hi, I truly understand what you are saying. I mentioned something like this in another post:

I am relatively green to online dating, but I think there is a way that you can filter out some of these negative people.

If you email someone, better yet CALL them, and you ask them deep questions, not small talk, but thoughtful questions about what is personal to them, about their future, about life, and they stumble and become incoherent and defensive, they are fakers. They will ask you why you are asking or keep asking you what YOU are looking for (meaning they are not telling what THEY are looking for).

A person that has mental health and maturity will tell you their hopes, dreams, will talk about intimacy and true companionship, etc. THE MOMENT YOU ASK THEM. 

This happened to me recently. I called and this person showed their colors within 20 minutes of a general conversation. I wrote them the pink slip within one hour and blocked their emails. 

Some men and women have become very narcissistic and self-centered. These people are what bring mistrust and enmity between the genders, but these negative people are easy to identify.

So basically, don't just start cupcaking with them, so YOU can make a good impression on THEM, force THEM fill out YOUR application, so to speak. 

I person of high standards will have no problem showing you that they meet YOUR standards and earning your trust, that is if they are serious about a relationship.

Yep I feel you it seems most say one thing and have a totaly differnt agenda, or have serious un treated mental issues! I am not judgemental just want the real and someone who is focused on self but is emoitionaly available. too much maybe.....

Yep I feel you it seems most say one thing and have a totaly differnt agenda, or have serious un treated mental issues! I am not judgemental just want the real and someone who is focused on self but is emoitionaly available. too much maybe.....

Yep I feel you it seems most say one thing and have a totaly differnt agenda, or have serious un treated mental issues! I am not judgemental just want the real and someone who is focused on self but is emoitionaly available. too much maybe.....

Yep I feel you it seems most say one thing and have a totaly differnt agenda, or have serious un treated mental issues! I am not judgemental just want the real and someone who is focused on self but is emoitionaly available. too much maybe.....

I am having a real hard time weeding out people.

I am having a real hard time weeding out people.

Relationships are always a work in progress. So many frogs to kiss (if you chose to).  I can only say  WHEN you find the right one ... Work even harder to keep him . Good luck

Relationships are always a work in progress. So many frogs to kiss (if you chose to).  I can only say  WHEN you find the right one ... Work even harder to keep him . Good luck

I am having the same problem. I'm Widowed and now just getting back into the dating. Problem I'm having is everyone is too far and from what I have met. Most don't really know what they want. I met my Wife on a dating site and was with her 18 years married for 4 years. So I have a pretty good track record,  I think. I am getting down myself on this dating. Oh well chin up deep breath and keep moving forward. I don't like being alone. Someone has got to be out there!!

I am having the same problem. I'm Widowed and now just getting back into the dating. Problem I'm having is everyone is too far and from what I have met. Most don't really know what they want. I met my Wife on a dating site and was with her 18 years married for 4 years. So I have a pretty good track record,  I think. I am getting down myself on this dating. Oh well chin up deep breath and keep moving forward. I don't like being alone. Someone has got to be out there!!

I feel the same way; however, I am having the same difficulties.  People I am interested in are not responding and I am getting emails and winks from people I am not interested in.  Very disgusted at this point.  I hope you are more successful.

I feel the same way; however, I am having the same difficulties.  People I am interested in are not responding and I am getting emails and winks from people I am not interested in.  Very disgusted at this point.  I hope you are more successful.