Übergroße Blogs > Blogs von Airemus > What is with the fat focus?
What is with the fat focus? Sort by:
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Veröffentlicht am Tue, Apr 11, 2006 06:53

Ok, ever since I have been viewing blogs here, something has been eating at my consciousness. While I am amazed and heartened at the courage of some to put their truth out there, I am also amazed at the content. Why is it so many blogs focus on size and weight? I thought the whole point of joining LF was so that weight would not be an issue. Isn't the whole point of this community to connect "large people" with folks that appreciate a little extra or at the very least could not care less? So why is that so many people, particularly women, feel the need to defend, explain, or apologize for being fat? I can't help but feel that the reason some folks can't find their hearts desire is not because others don't like their fat, but because they have a problem with it themselves. How can you project confidence if you feel bad about the most visual thing about you? I realise that there is a lot of pressure for outside to pursue body beautiful, but have we not matured to the point where we differentiate fit/healthy from skinny? Can we not as large people reject the identity that mainstream society would like to force on us to develop a strong sense of self and self worth? Bottom line, if you can't accept and love your fat, why would you expect anyone else to? Moreover, focusing on fat can be a great escape from focusing on those parts of yourself that are really holding you back. Maybe my culture gives me different perspective, as West Indian men are more likely to complain about a mhaga or skinny woman than they would a chunky one. Yes, IMO, real men will still take meat and patatoes over sushi. They just want to feel good about eating it. How can they if you do not feel comfortable serving it up? The only exception I have found to that rule are the men who are so insecure that they wear their partners like jewelry - and who wants a man like that?! When it comes right down to it, I have adopted my sister motto -"love me- love my fat!"


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girlwhosangtheblues
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Veröffentlicht am Thu, Apr 13, 2006 20:54

You're absolutely right, I think. I envy women who are confident enough with their body and who they are to not WORRY about their weight, but I know with many plus-sized women, that's always going to be an issue, myself included. Still, it's heartening to know that some people can break out of that cycle and appreciate themselves for who they are. You're a good example for the rest of us.


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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Apr 12, 2006 22:40

You're right. Maybe I don't have a boyfriend because of some major personality flaws. It can't be all about being big because I see plenty of plus size women that are married or in a relationship. I guess I'll have to ponder that one for a while.


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sweetladydj
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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Apr 12, 2006 13:16

Airemus - I have to agree with everything you've said - I love it !! We have to love and accept ourselves before we can expect anyone else too....I'm very happy with who I am - I am a beautiful, sexy, sensual woman and I am told that often by men - any man who doesn't see it or appreciate it, isn't worth my time - smile...


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toketee
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Veröffentlicht am Wed, Apr 12, 2006 10:23

My point exactly!! Thanks for putting it so nicely Airemus.


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jlyn2u
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Veröffentlicht am Tue, Apr 11, 2006 21:11

This is the first time I have seen the word "mhaga" in print, even though I grew up hearing it all my life. I love your comment. It is right on point and it is so true. We must live unapologeticly with our size. We must love ourselves wholly before we can be free to love a mate. Every single inch of ones body needs to be embraced, cuddled, caressed, kissed and loved. Just like the mind needs stimulation on all those levels. That's my feelings about the whole thing and I am sticking to it. Thank you sis for addressing the issue.


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